Your Superpower

What an honor to have the founder of TorahAnytime.com, Mr. Shimon Kolyakov come on the show today, joined by the illustrious Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein! The content they shared is life-changing, especially during this time when so many of us are struggling to just make it through the day. Tune in now…

Leah addressed her first question to Shimon Kolyakov: How did TorahAnytime start?
Shimon Kolyakov shared: When I was 3 years old, I immigrated to America with my family from communist Uzbekistan, which used to be part of the Soviet Union. We knew we were Jewish but didn’t know what that meant as my family was not observant. In the US, I went to public school. When I was in 4th grade, I was introduced to concepts in the classroom from other religions. When I told my parents about these ideas, they set me up with the JEP Program in Queens, New York. JEP is a program that pulls out children from public schools for one hour each week to teach them Jewish topics. This program was the highlight of my week and the Rabbi told my parents that I would be happy in a Yeshiva. My parents sent me to The Yeshiva Institute in 4th grade. For some unintelligible reason, I decided to go to public school for high school, even though the Rabbi tried to discourage my decision. During those years, all that I had been exposed to in Yeshiva began to blossom, since I was maturing as a teen. Random Rabbis would invite me to shul lectures with pizza included, and I couldn’t turn it down! I was inspired and hooked on these weekly lectures.

You May Feel Like You’re Doing Nothing & Not Accomplishing in Marriage or Child-Rearing, But…

Leah brings the message home: What we can extrapolate from that is that seeds are being planted in life. You may feel like you’re doing nothing and not accomplishing in marriage or child-rearing, but that is not the case!
Shimon Kolyakov continues: Since I was so inspired, I started doing kiruv in my public high school with others. What transpired is that there were other teens who were interested in keeping Shabbos and eating kosher, but their parents were either uninterested or were not at that level. In communist Russia, they were told and believed that religion is unimportant. The teenagers all started doing Shabbos together! We would go to shul, we sang, we had meals, and we had a wonderful time. My younger brother, Reuven, who was never given the opportunity of learning in Yeshiva, was the first person I did outreach with. All of us were growing spiritually little by little. I became so passionate about the lectures I was attending and thought that if this changed me, it can affect others as well. I had the idea to record the lectures and post them on the internet, but I didn’t know-how. My younger brother was much more tech-savvy than I, and he created the TorahAnytime website, and the rest is history!

Rabbi Wallerstein joins the conversation: It was 2007 and I was just starting to speak publicly. I avoided public speaking for a long time, due to a childhood lisp which I was always self-conscious about. I was invited to speak in the Bukharian Community. My first class was on dating, and it was my most famous speech since I was young and very direct with people and didn’t care how it sounded. Unbeknownst to me, sephardim like direct talk! Shimon was there and afterward introduced himself and said he ran TorahAnytime and asked me if I wouldn’t mind if tens of thousands of people could be added to my listening audience. Shimon went personally to my lectures from Queens to Brooklyn to record them. That was really the roots of TorahAnytime. In 2013, it had between 40-50 Rabbis giving shiurim and classes on it. Now, TorahAnytime has over 1000 lecturers. Due to COVID-19, the listening audience has increased tremendously! I used to teach a class that attracted 100 people. Shortly after agreeing to have my classes appear on Torah Anytime, only 20 people showed up to my class, due to the convenience of people listening from the comfort of their homes. At the time I was anti-technology and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go this route. Shimon explained to me that there aren’t 20 people in the room; there are 1000 people in the room, and there’s not enough chairs! It was then that I understood. This story should give all of us strength. Shimon’s teachers had no idea that their influence would touch the entire Jewish world. We don’t realize the difference we’re making.

Women Must Realize, If You Are Doing Something Which You Never Thought You Could Do Before, That Should Empower You!

Leah asks the question on the minds of so many women: Women right now are trying just to survive by putting food on their tables and trying to have a good relationship with their husbands and their children. How can we make a difference when we’re so overwhelmed?
Rabbi Wallerstein addresses this question: I was in contact with a young lady with an interesting challenge. Her educator called me to say that she is listening to a Christian radio station so I reached out to her. The girl called me to say she threw out her device and that she was having a hard time with that decision and wants to buy another one. I told her that I have been a Rabbi and teacher for 32 years. Back in the day, I used to go to movies and watch TV at night. I read lots of English books and listened to lots of secular music. I thought it wasn’t the best influence on me as a Rabbi and decided to stop going to movies. It was very hard, especially because movies are a social activity which I enjoyed with my friends. My friends used to put pressure on me to go with them, just as people react if someone close to them goes on a diet. I received lots of pressure, and I thought I wouldn’t have the willpower for that, but I did! I then decided to give up watching television, because it wasn’t bringing me up spiritually and I wasn’t spending time with my wife. Since I had the strength to give up movies and TV, I made the decision to read seforim at night, instead of reading non-Jewish books. Giving up secular music was the hardest for me, but I gave that up too. What empowered me was that I was able to first conquer movies, so I knew I was stronger than I thought, and that inspired me to take another step. Each thing I gave up, empowered me to take my next step. Women during COVID-19 must realize, you didn’t think you could educate your children and spend so much time with them, and stay home so much. However, if you could do something which you never thought you could do before, that should empower you! Instead of saying that these four months have been impossible, change your mindset, “I can do a lot more than I ever imagined!”

Leah wants to know more: How does a woman know if she’s succeeding or failing during this time? Before Corona, the success markers were clear. Now we’re just surviving and getting through the day. What are the success markers during this time?
Rabbi Wallerstein responds: When Shimon prepared Torah Anytime, he never dreamed he’d be able to do this because new technologies were needed and change was needed. He could not have known back then that if there was no TorahAnytime, the level of Torah disseminated during the quarantine would have decreased significantly. All you can do is the best you can; the results are not in our hands.

It’s Not A Failure To Fall; It’s Just A Failure Not To Get Up

Leah asks Shimon: When setting TorahAnytime up, did you ever feel failure and wanting to give up?
Shimon Kolyacov responds: Many times throughout I just wanted to quit, especially during the first ten years! It was difficult, there were so many challenges, and I wasn’t sure it was worth it. There was so much time and energy that went into it and I came very close to giving up. Looking back now, everything is worth it and I’m as fired up as ever!
Rabbi Wallerstein pipes in: Shimon came to me over the past fifteen years with complaints that lecturers said things which shouldn’t have been said and people reached out to him requesting that he shut the site down. I told him that it’s just the yetzer hara (the evil inclination). It’s not a failure to fall; it’s just a failure not to get up.

Leah wants to know more: There are so many women lately who have been yelling at their children and they’re short with their husbands. What would you consider a win for women during this time of lockdown?
Rabbi Wallerstein responds: There are those who mourn roses because of the thorns, and those who rejoice thorns because they’re on roses. It all depends how you look at it. It’s not up to you to finish the job, but it’s your job to put in the effort! Focus on these past four months and figure out what you learned about yourself. Even if it’s negative, think of something about yourself which you’re not happy about; don’t get depressed, just improve it! On the flip side, what are you happy about? Personally, I was never sensitive to visiting the sick. I have a 24-year-old niece who is a nurse, and she had to say viduy (last prayer Jews say before they die) with dying patients, since they’re not permitted to have family by their side. She’s seen people die before, but not die alone, and this had a big effect on her. When I heard about this, it made a deep impression on me and I decided to visit patients in hospitals when they reopen because I learned sensitivity during this dark time. A woman I know said she just joined the burial society because she wanted to do something for people who aren’t alive any longer. She felt badly that people bought graves in Israel which they couldn’t use during this time. Instead of feeling depressed, find your strength, https://medfitnetwork.org/public/ambien-zolpidem-info/. My father taught me that 75% of your success is based on learning from your failures. Rabbi Noach Weinberg zt’l, the Rosh HaYeshiva of Aish HaTorah opened up 7 Yeshivas before Aish. A student of his asked him how he continued after 2 failures. He answered, “There’s nothing you could give G-d. If you give tzedakah (charity), G-d gave you the money; if you put up a mezuzah, G-d gave you the house; if you dress tzniously (modestly), who gave you clothes? But a person who is not connected to G-d, Rabbi Weinberg felt he was giving them back their neshama.” Failure is part of your success.

Can You Give Practical Suggestions For a Woman in a Rut?

Sarit wanted to know: 1) Can you give practical suggestions for a woman in a rut? There are no camps, no zooms for the children, everyone is flying. 2) How can a woman go to bed feeling satisfied that she accomplished something? 3) What should be her focus?
Rabbi Wallerstein tackles the question with a powerful story: When you awake in the morning, it’s G-d saying that the world couldn’t go on without you; that’s what it means when you thank G-d for giving back your soul. In the morning, ask yourself what you will do to make the world a better place. When you go to sleep, your focus should be that you did the best you could. Women are maternal and they want to be successful. Success is not up to you; it’s all in your efforts. There’s a metaphoric story of a peasant farmer, Yankel, who heard the voice of G-d telling him to push a twenty ton boulder in front of his house. Each day for a year, Yankel pushed the boulder, but it did not move. One day, a mean-looking angel came down and said he’s satan. Satan asked the peasant why G-d asked him to do the impossible. The boulder isn’t moving and the satan admitted that he enjoys his comic relief each day watching this fool. The next day, G-d tells Yankel to push the boulder and the man answers he’s not going to be G-d’s joke. G-d answers him, “I didn’t tell you to move the boulder; just to push it!” The peasant couldn’t deal with it and he decided to go to the bar to get a drink. On his way to the bar, he hears a woman crying for help, “My husband is under the truck! Go to town quickly to bring back help!” Yankel realizes that by the time he gets to town and back the man will be dead, so he tells the woman that he will lift the truck and that the wife should pull her husband out from underneath quickly. The wife responds, “it’s impossible! Do you think you are Superman? The truck contains 900 lbs of concrete in it.” Yankel replies, “just let me do my part and you do yours!” He then procceds to lift up the truck and the man is saved! The wife can’t stop thanking him and Yankel responds, “Don’t thank me, thank the boulder!” Many times, we do things which don’t work; we think it’s meaningless. What we have to realize is that we are building struggle muscle! Struggle muscle gives us strength. There is a lot of muscle we built in the last four months. G-d doesn’t make you push boulders for no reason. It may feel like you’re failing, but trust me, you didn’t waste your time. You may not see the results today, but you will on a different day.

Homework for the week: Make 10 people smile a day – the first smile must be your own, when you awake in the morning.

Torah Anytime is not just a website. A daily dose was launched. To be part of it, call 929-355-4268 and message words, “Add Me.” In addition, there’s a big event coming up on Sunday 6/21 & Monday 6/22, a 30-hour marathon with non-stop programming on their website to raise the necessary funds to address the growing needs of the site. Go to TorahAnytime.com to donate and find out more!