Leah jumps right in: What does it mean to upgrade your life versus changing your life?

Rabbi Pliskin responds: Our minds house our mindsets and our memories, which controls our general attitude towards ourselves and others. We feel joyful when we think of joyful memories. When we feel negative, we focus on distressing memories. We need a joyful imagination to be joyful. In the past, only a finite amount of things have gone wrong, but in the future, we can imagine anything, which is what worriers do. We grow from challenges. When we are in a state of gratefulness, our entire soul should thank G-d for every breath we take, especially during COVID-19. A good habit to get into is to smile at a mirror and see it smile back and say the word, “Joy” into the mirror.

Sarit pipes up: I have a bad memory, but my husband tells me that the only thing I do remember is all the bad things he does!

Rabbi Plisken laughs: Upgrade your life and your marriage by thinking of the good things your husband does instead!

Leah wants to know more: You practice joy flawlessly, even throughout challenges you may have. How do you do this?

Rabbi Plisken concurs: It takes practice. Recall great things from your past, and imagine great things happening in your future. Recall the great events which happened to our nation, such as Purim & Passover, when we were saved. Imagine visiting the tent of Abraham and Sarah.  When you do an action many times, the brain actually changes and a person can make newer pathways. It says in Ethics of the Fathers to treat everyone with joy. Treat everyone with a favorable facial expression. By doing repetitive actions of joy you will begin to feel it.

Leah delves deeper: How does one remain joyful while experiencing so much pain in life, such as the death of a loved one during COVID?

Rabbi Plisken continues: Our sorrow has to be appropriate. At a funeral, we’re supposed to feel sad. We should mourn during the seven days of shiva (mourning), then there’s the shloshim (thirty days of mourning), and the yahrzeit, which is the yearly anniversary of a loved one. Use these times to cry and mourn. It’s important to focus on what you appreciated about your loved ones. What were you grateful for? You can honor them in this world by doing good deeds in their merit! It’s humanly impossible to always be happy. We get exhausted and there are disasters and tragedies. Concerning COVID, there are those who weren’t happy with their jobs and this became the perfect opportunity to quit or change jobs. So you must look for the positive. Another great tool to remaining joyful is to do kindnesses for others, since we get positive chemicals in our brain and our whole system through acts of kindness.

A fan wants to know: How does someone who doesn’t have innate joy create it?

Rabbi Pliskin answers: We need to practice – it takes repetition. Look in the mirror, get into a positive state, smile to yourself.

Leah wants practical tips: How does a person upgrade their life?

Rabbi Pliskin responds: Act as if you already upgraded your life! Speak and act joyfully and kindly. If a person was paid $1,000,000 to play the role of a joyful actor, he would do whatever it takes, even hiring a coach. Repetitive actions lead to results.

Leah asks the question on everyone’s mind: When there’s a challenging time, we usually have an idea of when things will change i.e. the end of a semester. However, with COVID-19, it’s been indefinite and the yardstick keeps moving. Our children are home and our husbands are home. It felt like there was an end in sight and now there’s not.

Rabbi Pliskin understands: Re-wire your brain. At the beginning of the lockdown, it was scary because we thought there was a possibility of there not being any food left in the stores. But we saw that we were able to survive and come out okay. Don’t feel sad that you’re sad. You have the ability to upgrade and feel good and to enjoy good moments in your life.

The questions keep coming: Can a person just pretend to be normal?

The answers keep coming: I know people who “fake it till you make it.” My advice is to try to be joyful for 5 seconds at a time.

Leah wants more: What is the advantage to feeling joyful?

Rabbi Pliskin provides insight: Rabbi Noach Weinberg of Aish HaTorah said that happiness is an obligation. When you’re happy, you’ll accomplish more and you’ll even be kinder.

Leah asks about Rabbi Pliskin’s book: In your book, Upgrade Your Mind, Upgrade Your life, how does upgrading relate to joy?

Rabbi Pliskin responds: We need to feel joy for being alive. Gratitude and doing acts of kindness gives us joy. Research shows that when we do acts of kindness, the brain produces positive hormones and chemicals. Consciously make a commitment to spend two weeks doing acts of kindnesses. Also, we have the ability to create joy when we think positive thoughts. My most joyful moments were when I became a father, a grandfather, a great grandfather. We all can experience joyful moments. Even if you haven’t experienced these grand events, imagine them happening. The more positive thoughts you can create the more joyful you will be the more your life will upgrade.

Leah asks a few more questions: Especially during COVID, can you guide us to leave the now and go into imagination and memory?

Rabbi Pliskin shares: You have the ability to use your mind to go into any positive or negative state!

1) I keep upgrading my thoughts, my feelings, my words, my actions.

2) I keep upgrading my being grateful and joyful. I see it, hear it, and feel it.

3) I keep upgrading my being kind and compassionate. I see it, hear it, and feel it.

4) I keep upgrading my self-confidence and courageousness. I see it, hear, it and feel it.

5) I keep upgrading my goal-setting and reaching. I see it, hear it, and feel it.

6) I keep upgrading my ability to be at my best, highest, and wisest. I see it, hear it, and feel it.

Leah ends with a final quesiton: There are people who have such vitality of life and can create growth and learning and soak it all in. Please give us insights into how to be that type of person whose life is always going upwards.

Rabbi Pliskin offers a final thought: When you try to always do something, you may fall. Occasionally try to consciously be grateful and joyful. The more we do it, the more it becomes our nature. The Rambam wrote that to develop positive traits, we should do these actions repetitively. If you have a fault, such as being lazy or stingy, move to the positive extreme. If you’re fearful, act courageous. If you’re lazy, take action. If you’re stingy, instead of giving away a large bill, make change from it and give it to many different needy people, so you can repeat the action over and over again. Think of your role model, figure out how he/she acts, and try to emulate what he/she does. Happiness is a general well-being and joy is more intense. You need to work on feeling joyful, but the more you practice these steps the closer you will come to your goal.