Between physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, is there any part of life that isn’t the woman’s responsibility? How are we supposed to handle such a monumental role when our lives are more hectic than ever?

In this episode, Leah begins Chapter 2 of Marriage Secrets, pgs. 35-38, which continues to clarify our true role and how to get there with our sanity (mostly) intact!

Tune in for the first 8 minutes to hear the scoop in her own words, beginning at timecode 0:45!

Leah’s Points to Ponder:

• What if you could start your life fresh as the person you hoped to be?
• Women have more power and choices than ever before. Yet we all harbor a secret desire to be cherished by our husband.
  • It may be buried so deep we’re not even aware of it.
  • We may view it as a weakness, and that we must be in as much control as possible.
  • We are losing out the magnificent feeling that comes from being thoroughly cherished. We are not getting one of our deepest needs met.
  • If this is too hard to swallow, walk through your life and look for evidence of it personally and all around you.

Viewer Questions:

Lynn: I’m afraid now that I’m scared of marriage because of all of the work and adjusting that is needed- any advice for this? Being a wife is such a huge role!

Leah:  Anything new comes with fear. Most potential for fulfillment in life takes place in marriage. The fear is good in that you know it’s something to be taken seriously. But don’t let the fear hold you back from the greatest joy in life. Tune in at timecode 11:13 to hear about an astonishing study about the secret of happy couples!

Chumi: I’m not so familiar with the term “cherished”. Can you explain what it means and how it’s different from approval?

Leah: We all want approval from our spouse, but being cherished is a deep feeling that your husband adores, understands and honors you. When you recognize this need, you will better be able to communicate in a way that will fill that need.

Shira: In the past, this need to be cherished was more known to women? I thought in the past most marriages were arranged and centered on what the woman could do for her husband.

Leah:  This wisdom is as old as time. Jewish women have been getting a ketubah (marriage contract) for 3000 years. They were not property. They had rights, and their husbands had obligations towards them. But history aside, the fact is, that women have a need to be cherished. The current culture teaches that we need to be independent, when what will really bring us happiness is being INTERdependent with our husband.

Chava: How can one successfully find independence in a marriage while also fulfilling the need to be cherished? Can independence exist in a happy marriage? What about codependence? Where’s the line between healthy and unhealthy independence?

Leah:  I’m not an expert in psychological terms like codependence. Keep the goal of peace in the home in mind, and there is a lot of room for independence and individuality within that. And remember to seek your husband’s input as much as possible as a sign of respect. If peace is what drives you, you have found the key to success.

Try This at Home:

Identify one thing you would do differently if you could start your life anew.