Such a simple phrase: Thanks! So easy to say, but how often do we actually take the time to say it and mean it?

In this episode, Leah continues Chapter 5 of Marriage Secrets with pages 104-108, and reveals the magical powers of this little word in a way that will make you never want to stop saying it!

Tune in for the first 10 minutes or so to hear the scoop in her own words, beginning at timecode 0:25!

Leah’s Points to Ponder:

• To be a good receiver, all you need to do is say thank you.
• The more you say thank you, the larger-capacity vessel for G-d’s blessings you become.
• Teach yourself to notice every single time your husband does something for you or says something nice to you so you have more opportunities to say thank you.

Viewer Questions:

Nava: My husband recently mentioned to me he feels there’s a block in the bracha (blessing) that he’s bringing in and he thinks he needs to take something on spiritually. Could it be that I’m the issue? I’ve really been trying to work on receiving and accepting my husband’s bracha and gifts.

Leah: It almost doesn’t even matter what he thinks he needs to do. If you keep thanking him, more bracha will flow in. There’s no downside to him learning more or doing more spiritually, but you are the one with power to bring in more bracha simply by being a receiver. If he’s feeling badly, reassure him that he is a wonderful husband and thank him for all he does.

Rachel: My husband has been out of a job for months. Everything has been on my shoulders: kids, part-time work and the home. I tried supporting him as best as I could, but now I’m just silent. If I have nothing nice to say then I’d rather say nothing at all. What should I do? He’s just not helping out.

Leah: For men, unemployment is one of the biggest tests. It is so debilitating to a man’s self-esteem. Try to put yourself in his shoes- now not only is he not able to support his family, but his stature is further reduced by having to do menial tasks around the house. It will bring him lower than he already feels and a confident man finds work faster. His identity is at stake here. If he had a broken leg you wouldn’t expect him to do chores. Right now he has a broken spirit, which is far worse. You can help him heal by supporting him emotionally and not asking things of him that you wouldn’t ask while he was working. It is a huge challenge for you, given by G-d, but it is the way to make the best out of your circumstances.

Nava (follow-up): Can a lack of bracha (blessing) in the home be attributed to other reasons other than the wife not receiving?

Leah:  Absolutely! But those things are out of her power. But what is in her power is receiving and doing that will always bring in more bracha than you currently have.

Chava: When I thank my husband, he brushes me off without acknowledging my thanks. It’s like I’m thanking the air. Am I doing something wrong?

Leah:  Hashem hears it and will bring in the bracha. It could be he has something in his past that keeps him from accepting thanks, so hang in as long as you can and see if it gets better. If not, choose an optimal time when you’re both well-rested and well-fed and have a conversation. Tune in at timecode 20:30 for an example of what that conversation should be like!

Sara: My husband only brings me gifts when he does something wrong. I don’t want him to think he can buy my love. Any advice will help.

Leah:  Let him! That’s his way of apology. It’s possible he doesn’t know any other way of expressing that he’s sorry.

Tali: I know you always say that respect is always given, and not earned, but it’s so much easier said than done. I know if I respected my husband more it would be a lot easier to receive from him and be appreciative of him. How can I practically work on respecting him, when truthfully, there’s so much about him I don’t respect?

Leah:  A husband will only be as respectable as you view him to be. You can gather data all day of what not to respect and make both of you miserable. Or you can work on trying to be his advocate- you may be surprised by all the good you find! You are OBLIGATED to see the good in him. You may find it helpful to keep a journal to help you stay focused on his positive qualities.

Try This at Home:

One time this week (or better yet once a day!), jot down a note of something your husband did that focuses on the positive in how he did it. See the cup as half full!