The only reason I get angry is because I live with a man who makes me angry!
Tune is as Leah continues with Marriage Secrets on pages 244-246 and helps us understand The Blame Game- showing us how this is one game we will never want to play with our husbands again. Time to learn new rules to help switch from attack to defense.
Leah’s Points To Ponder:
- Watching ourselves when we get angry will help us identify our anger triggers and chart a path to handle our anger.
- Being slow to anger is true strength.
- Self-mastery over anger takes time but the “birds eye view” will help us learn, understand and take control.
Viewer Questions:
Goldy: When I try to talk softly, my husband tells me I sound like his grandmother! I’m trying to take your tips on board, but it seems to bother my husband!
Leah: Put the problem in his lap. Show him you’re doing it to take care of him. Be open and admit that maybe you’re doing it wrong but you’re trying to figure it out and ask him how he wants you to say it. Hopefully he’ll realize that he’s the biggest beneficiary, and he shouldn’t give you a hard time.
Layla: I know I yell a lot because that’s what my mother used to do; how do I break this cycle?
Leah: Good for you for introspecting and owning your anger trigger. Firstly, recognizing it and understanding the devastating effect of yelling, is a powerful tool to help break this pattern. Timecode 11:09 will show you how to speak with him in a positive way, without speaking negatively of your mother.
Gayil: I’m quite an extreme person and I tend to either yell or give the silent treatment. Your show is really helping me, could you tell me what I should work on first?
Leah: There’s a difference between silent treatment and silence. The strength in the power of speech is the strength to remain silent- silence is golden. The silent treatment is a weapon which causes distance. Timecode 13:57 will show you how to put that weapon away and reach the golden silence. It’s vital that we still take care of our husbands even if we are being silent.
Bella: Is there something wrong with me that I quite enjoy getting angry?
Leah: Newsflash- everyone enjoys getting angry- it’s a rush of pleasure. This is the yetzer hara’s (evil inclination) pleasure. However good it may feel, it is not as pleasurable as closeness to the people around us. In the midst of the tirade, try to visualize what the cost is.
Sara: I find it hard to admit ownership as I can always find a reason why someone else has made me angry, especially my husband! So how can I introspect if I’m always finding reasons for my anger.
Leah: Your ownership is a sign that you’re a smart lady. Listen in at timecode 21:18 to hear how us women are great prosecuting attorneys and how to switch and become the defending angel! There is no growth available when we blame others- we are disempowered. Finding our own accountability is what brings the internal growth and the closeness. This needs baby steps, but the growth is huge.
Try This At Home:
One time this week, take accountability and find something you can shift.
