Do you also feel like your life is set to mindless mode and cruise control?
Join Leah with Guest Speaker Rabbi Avi Wiesenfeld as they explore how to trade autopilot for clarity, meaning and fulfilment. Friends, it’s time to shift gears from frazzled to focused and fix our broken connections by breaking out of autopilot.
Points To Ponder:
- We have to stop our busy lives and think, what am I doing, why am I doing it, what’s my purpose?
- Ask ourselves: What should I accomplish today? What can I do today to improve? This will take us off autopilot mode.
- The Berditchever Rebbe called a meeting for all the men, women and children of Berditchev. Everyone was excited and curious to hear his speech. All he said was “Rabbosai, remember there is a Ribbono Shel Olam (Creator of The World.)” Coming off autopilot can be as simple as reconnecting to this basic principle.
- Prepare for a mitzva, even simply thinking before tefilla: “I’m about to talk to Hashem.”
Viewer Questions:
Raizy: Things are so busy in the home. How can I connect more with my husband?
Date night, or even just a short walk together. Make sure some of the time together is general shmoozing, not about the house or kids, just light and connecting conversations. Show that you want a relationship; just like we say that to Hashem, we should be saying it to each other.
Shani: As women, we need routine, or the home will fall apart. How do we balance mundane routines with breaking out of autopilot?
When we become people who shine with light and possibility, the people around us change too. Women can make real shifts in the home. Try to view the work you do in your home as another opportunity for growth in the home and with your family.
Hadassa: When you said the story about the man rushing back out of the house, I could relate, except I don’t even get the diamonds! It’s so hurtful but my husband says I’m being needy when I try to tell him. How can I get the message across to my husband?
Every man wants his wife to want and need him. Don’t give up on communicating your needs to him because even if he’s busy, the message will get through because this is a deep need for him. When he does give you time, show him how much you value it and he’ll give you more.
Rachel: I find it so overwhelming to introspect like the Rov is suggesting. It makes me feel guilty that I’m not doing enough, which is discouraging and makes me not want to try. How can I change this?
Recognize that every small step is huge. We get so distracted by everything in our lives, we often don’t notice or give value to the small successes. Notice every small success in your day. Compliment yourself and be encouraged by every small step you are taking.
Talia: Me and my husband have grown apart over the years. We wouldn’t know how to relax and talk about things other than trivialities of life. How can I fix this broken connection?
First of all is to know that if you want it to improve, it will. Just like every yid has a spark even if they’ve veered far, so does every marriage. Reach out to your husband by asking to go for a walk or complimenting him. A compliment can make him feel respected and loved and he will likely reciprocate. Give without worrying what you’ll get back, just keep giving because he won’t be unaffected by this.
Try This At Home:
Stop and think: What am I about to do? What am I about to accomplish?
