Running on Empty.

Join Leah with guest speaker Rebbetzin Esti Hamilton as they discuss what some of the obstacles to shalom bayis are. It’s time for some (easy) action steps to help us unblock the blockages. Ladies, this show will help you refuel, stop running on empty and start running with a bounce in your step!

What do you see as one of the main obstacles to shalom bayis today?

• Personal unhappiness. Marriage is two souls coming together as one but in reality, we live as two separate beings. Each with their own goals, hopes, dreams, highs and lows. Throughout life, it will go up and down.
• We often make the mistake of blaming our spouse for not bringing us happiness or taking us out of our trouble. We point fingers and blame when we need to look within ourselves.
• Our expectations don’t always match and one of the biggest obstacles is when we point and say it didn’t work out, it’s your fault. It’s not about fault. These are the circumstances of our life. Let go.
• It’s often- husband, wife and problem in the middle it should be- husband, wife and problem on the other side.
• If we choose our happiness, we’re also choosing our husband’s happiness. If she makes herself happy then she greet him differently, relates to kids differently etc.

What are the action steps to making ourselves happy?

• A woman has to sit down and think what she wants from life. How can she help herself get there. Is it going out for coffee, buying new pillows, phoning a friend or is it getting a degree.
• As soon as she does something to make herself personally happy it echoes throughout her life.
• Most women are three different people: a wife, mother and themselves. If she is depleted in one area, she will be depleted in all areas.
• Sit down and draw a pie and fill it with each section of your life. Then see which section is most depleted and consider how to fill it.

What’s the most important factor in shalom bayis?

• Keep liking your spouse. Focus on the positive, not the negative.

     Tune in at timecode 15:05 for a fascinating perspective on chesed (kindness).

What is one action a woman can do today that will bring more shalom bayis into her home?

Find something that will make her happy and in a better mood. We as women are mostly depleted which is often the source of our misery. If we’re unhappy we won’t be a good spouse or mother. Help yourself without relying on anyone else.