Who doesn’t feel like they’ve got it tough these days? And yet, we’ve still gotta do what we gotta do …
So how do we make it easier?
Today Leah talks with Rebbetzin Goldie Plotkin, who shares some of her story and how it can help YOU!
Rebbetzin Plotkin’s Story
Eighteen years ago, Goldie gave birth to her 8th child, a boy, who was diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome. She was devastated, and didn’t know how to transition from pain and shock to the strength she would need to meet this challenge.
She called her father and poured out her heart about how it all felt beyond what she could cope with. Her father told her to turn to Chapter 26 in the Tanya, a book on Chassidic philosophy, which discusses sadness versus bitterness, and explains that the key is reframing:
Tool #1: G-d doesn’t ask of you more than you can handle- even if you think you can’t handle it!!
There is a famous story about renowned violinist Itzhak Perlman, who uses crutches to walk due to having been struck with polio as a child.
He was performing at Avery Fisher Hall in NY, and as he began to play, there was a loud crack, followed by a gasp from the audience. One of the strings on Mr. Perlman’s violin had broken! You can’t play a four-string concerto on a three-string violin!
The audience murmured in sympathy about how Mr. Perlman would have to struggle off stage with his crutches and get a replacement violin. But that’s not what happened.
Itzhak Perlman began to play with such passion, such power, such skill, recomposing the musical piece as he went along for the three strings he had. It was a performance like no other.
When he had finished, he turned to the audience and said:
“You know, sometimes, it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.”
But what if your relationship is the tough thing you can’t handle?
Leah chimes in — If you stood under the Chupah (marriage canopy) with him, Hashem (G-d) wanted you to be with him, and therefore you CAN handle it!
Rebbetzin Plotkin adds- there are cases when divorce is the right option, but before you amputate a limb, you go to countless doctors and explore every available option.
We live in a disposable society- we can’t let it affects how we view our relationships as well!
Tool #2: Connect with a Tzaddik (righteous person)
Pray at the graves of righteous people that they intercede on our behalf. And even more importantly, connect with LIVING righteous people, rabbanim and rebbetzins. Seek their advice. Learn from them. Emulate their examples.
Don’t be afraid to “bother” them! Rabbis are there for us to ask!
Tool #3: Think positively.
There’s a saying in Yiddish: “Think positive and it’ll be positive!”
Your thoughts create your reality.
Leah interjects: But if you have a day when everything is going wrong, how do you transition to positive in that difficult moment?
Rebbetzin Plotkin answers: EVERYONE has struggles. There is a mantra for hard times that really helps is: Everything is in the hands of Heaven except for fear of Heaven.
Everything that happens is meant to be- the fear of Heaven part is YOUR attitude and response. This leads into our next tool: the power of reframing our thoughts and perspectives.
Tool #4: Reframe
Rebbetzin Plotkin relates a very personal story:
One day, she came into the bedroom of Zalmy, her son with Down’s syndrome and found him and his bedroom covered in his own feces. (Kids with Down’s tend to crave intense sensory experiences.)
She was staggered and her first thought was “What did I do to deserve this?”
Then she remembered her power to reframe, and she thought, “Thank you, G-d, for making me healthy so that no one has to clean ME! And thank you for making me strong, which enables me to lift my son’s large frame into the bathtub!”
If you feel like it’s still too hard to get there, reach out to a mentor. You don’t have to be alone!
Tool #5: Divine Providence
It says in Tehillim (Psalms), Hashem (G-d) is in charge of all of our footsteps.
Look for His guiding care throughout every day and you will see how much He is watching out for YOU!
The phrase that can bring great comfort for you: “It wasn’t meant to be.”
For another amazing story about the Rebbetzin and her son Zalmy that illustrates Divine Providence, tune in at 48:16!
Try This at Home:
- Take something negative that happened during the day and reframe it positively.
- Find a mentor.
Additional Links:
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Upgrade Your Life!
Rebbetzin Goldie Plotkin can be reached via Facebook
