Do you want to tap into your greatness on a daily basis? In this episode, Leah talks with Rebbetzin Esti Hamilton, motivational speaker and spiritual mentor, to break down how to practically access the greatness within each and every one of us.
What is greatness?
Greatness is you being your own best self. Most of what we’ll talk about today is based on “Path of the Just” by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato, which was written centuries ago, but is incredibly relevant to our lives today.
Why is choosing greatness so hard?
Our minds are so crowded with a distorted view of ourselves that we’ve accumulated throughout our lives. We have so much negative self-talk.
Your body is very resistant to change, whether it’s eating habits or thought patterns. We are programmed for survival and anything beyond that is incredibly difficult. If you’ve failed in the past, it’s just because you are a part of the human condition.
So how do we do become great?
Choose something to change that is easy for you to be consistent with. Habits take 90 days of consistency. Choose an area you want to work on and then choose the smallest, most doable increment of it. Don’t cut out caffeine, substitute one of your three daily coffees with a cup of herbal tea.
Greatness and Support
The people around you might not be supportive of your desire to change, because it makes them uncomfortable about what they should be changing about themselves. Try to find someone who will be supportive of your change and maybe even do it along with you. There’s a reason why support groups and 12-step programs are so successful- it’s so much harder doing things on your own.
Greatness Starts with Awareness
You do a lot of things in your life that you don’t even realize you are doing. So much takes place in our subconscious mind. So any change has to start with becoming aware of what we are doing.
For example, I become aware that I’m grumpy in the morning so I take upon myself a tiny change in this area; to spend 20 seconds smiling into a mirror first thing when I wake up. This leads to a chain reaction that will affect not only me and my day, but my whole family and their day as well.
So don’t commit to not speak lashon hara (harmful speech), commit to becoming more aware of your speech by reading about the laws of speech for five minutes a day.
Curiosity is Key
Part of being aware is about being curious. If I become aware of having certain negative thought patterns, the next step is so often to criticize ourselves. The real next step should be curiosity. Why do I think negatively about this? What is the root of this? What triggers these thoughts? Why is my behavior this way when I want it to be this way? The more you discover through your awareness and curiosity, the more you will know how to work on the issue, https://nygoodhealth.com.
The key to change is not motivation, it’s curiosity. If you’re curious about why you are how you are, you will know yourself and be motivated to be a better you. Turn your self-criticism into self-curiosity. Nobody has ever been criticized into greatness.
Viewer Question: What if your husband isn’t supportive of what you want to change. Should you choose something else?
Rebbetzin Esti replies: A spouse suffers from our flaws. Try to be aware of what things you need to work on that impact your spouse and choose one of those. Being great should start with your relationships with others.
Leah adds: Also, be modest about your attempts to grow. Keep these attempts between you and G-d, or if necessary, one supportive person, preferably your husband if he would be a support.
Viewer Question: How do you know if you’re taking on too much for this particular point in time?
Rebbetzin Esti: Don’t take on someone else’s growth ladder, because what helps them grow may take you in a totally different direction. You have to be aware of how what you take on is actually impacting you and adjust accordingly.
Are you trying to change or are you changing?
If you catch yourself using the words: “I’m trying to work on it” — that’s already an indication that what you’re doing is too hard. Stop trying to work on it and start exploring why it’s happening to begin with and how else you could approach it that would be easier and more doable.
Be Aware of Our Power
We always hear how we each have such potential. But that’s actually inaccurate. We don’t have the potential to be powerful, we ARE each so powerful. The mood of any of us can affect the mood of those closest to you without you even saying a word. With great power comes great responsibility and my biggest responsibility is myself and my own behavior. So, our growth is completely necessary and must be a priority.
Self-curiosity not Self-obsession
Sometimes what holds us back from greatness is what we think other people think about us. Stop obsessing about what other people think about you! First of all, they’re not usually thinking about why you are how you are and do what you do — they have their own lives! And even if they are, why would you want to limit yourself to the perceptions and opinions of others when you can rely on what YOU know about yourself through awareness and curiosity. Keep your grace and your own counsel.
Try This at Home
When you catch yourself being self-critical, get curious about the whys of your thought patterns. Curiosity leads to solutions!
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Additional Links:
- Check out more Rebbetzin Esti content on Torahanytime!
- Follow her on Instagram: Rebbetzin_Esti_
- Check out our other episode with Rebbetzin Esti, Surviving Challenges
