Do you worry about the future or get stuck in the regrets of the past?
In this episode, Leah talks with esteemed lecturer, educator, and author Rabbi Jonathan Rietti to find out how to live in the now!
First off, what does “living in the now” actually mean?
Brain Power
It is all about where your thoughts are. You may be at work, but are you worrying about the kids? You’re out with your spouse, but is your brain is making a food shopping list for later?
Living in the now is about focusing your thoughts on the action you are currently doing. Where you are physically should be where you are mentally.
We can shut off even physical pain if what we’re focusing on is important enough. Athletes do it all the time. The key is how engaged are we? How much are we paying attention to what we do?
Leah asks: In today’s world, how are we supposed to accomplish what we need to without multitasking?
Rabbi Rietti explains: Multitasking is an illusion. We think it is more efficient, but it’s actually not. We are trained from a young age to focus on many things simultaneously, and this prevents us from paying full attention to anything. It negatively impacts learning and living on every level. You are sacrificing so much for an illusion of productivity.
Whatever I’m doing right now is the most important thing to focus on right now. And if it’s not, why am I doing it?
The more focus we put into something, the more we retrain ourselves and our family to pay attention to what we’re doing and nurture your bond with each other without distraction.
Fixing the Problem
Hashem (G-d) gave us the power to think and the power to be aware of our thinking. Everything is only possible through thought, even your emotions.
100% of all you feel is from what you are thinking. You are always feeling your thoughts.
Tune in at -33:55 to see R’ Rietti’s hilarious demonstration of this concept, complete with visual aids!
Your thoughts can be like hammers, hammering in negative feelings.
Put down the hammer! It’s not the traffic that’s stressing you out. It’s YOUR THOUGHTS about the traffic that stress you out.
So what should you do?
You can’t have two thoughts simultaneously. The life of a thought is however long you think it. So I’m always only one thought away from a better thought.
We even experience images through our thoughts, so we can choose to break our thoughts away from the negative images.
Mental Health Takes Place in Your Next Thought
Can I really be happy when so much around me is not the way I want it?
We tend to tie our happiness to external things. I’ll be happy when my child does x, my spouse does x, my boss does x… If you outsource your happiness to someone or something else, you become chained to them.
You and your thoughts are the only ones with the key to your happiness.
No one can ever put a feeling inside you, whether it’s negative or positive. ALL of our feelings come from our own thoughts, nowhere else.
There is a law of subtraction: When you let go of resentment, anger, regret, etc., what’s left is a mind that’s free to focus on joyful things. So happiness is only ever one thought away.
Q: How can I bring the lack of distractions I experience on Shabbos into the week?
Rabbi Rietti responds:
Recognize that you’re never a slave to anyone or anything unless you think you are. And even if you think you are, you have the power to switch your thought.
Your mind is a beautiful garden. You choose where to pour the water. Cultivate the beauty. Don’t water the weeds.
Leah: Could you please describe the transition of one thought away, step by step?
R’ Rietti clarifies: Be aware that it is you thinking about it that is making you feel it. In fact, you HAVE to be thinking about it in order to feel it. Nothing external has any power to stress me, only my thoughts do. Your thoughts are the true source of anything you’re feeling. You are experiencing anger because you are thinking angry thoughts. NOT because someone or something made you angry.
You can shift your thoughts at any time. You can grab your liberation at any time. Just unchain your happiness from anything but you and your thoughts. And always ask Hashem for help!
Try This at Home
When you feel upset, ask yourself a simple question: Is it really possible for something that’s outside of me (person or circumstance) to make me feel anything? YOU are in charge of your thoughts, which control your feelings. Now that’s power!
Additional Links:
Rabbi Rietti’s website: https://www.breakthroughchinuch.com/
The site Rabbi Rietti mentions about mental health through the power of thought: https://www.iheartprinciples.com/
Check out his book All Middos Begin with a Thought, available on Amazon!
And his audio series, A Career in Happiness.
