It’s time to put out the fire and put some sparks back into your marriage!
Join Leah with guest speaker Rabbi Joey Haber as they address explosive topics such as why so many people are frustrated in their marriage, how to balance relatable life issues, and why our husband makes us feel such rage. Ladies, this show is a must-listen if you want some practical and life-changing tips to access that dream you had (and may have given up on,) when you walked down to the chuppa (wedding canopy).
Questions:
Why are so many people frustrated in their marriages?
Listen in at timecode 1:32 to hear Rabbi Haber’s answer as he quotes a possuk (verse from the Torah) which will certainly frustrate any woman…until she understands it!
Whoever made up the saying like a kid in the candy store has never taken a kid to a candy store! They’re anything but happy- they want this one and that one, and this one over there and that one up there. Once you take them out of the store, then they’re happy! But, as long as we’re comparing and looking around we can’t be happy, especially with social media making everyone else seem so attractive.
First is recognizing that as long as you’re in the comparing game, you’ll be miserable. Happiness lies in accepting who you chose and why you chose them.
Next is remembering why you’re happy being married to this person.
Last is realizing that no one else you might be looking at is as wonderful as you might think they are!
How do we stop social media from affecting us?
Your time on social media needs to be limited for a healthy life; it’s so full of lies, distractions, and danger. If it’s not helping your self-esteem, helping you feel happy, or if you feel you’ve wasted time on it, that’s your sign to stop or do it less.
How do I balance work, kids and husband, I’m having a hard time.
Stop feeling guilty! You’re allowed to do all 3 plus spending time with yourself. Identify what you need in every area and do it!
I feel my marriage is struggling under the pressure of raising teens. Any advice?
The nature of teens is that they go up and down. Cut the constant flow of stress in your mind by having time slots of not thinking about them, especially when out with your husband.
Why is it that we can be pleasant to everyone around us but when it comes to our husbands, we feel rage?
Everyone else you can distance yourself from, but our identity is wrapped with our spouse so when he does something, the anger is on a different level. Listen in at timecode 22:18 for an observation that will blow your mind! Embrace the differences and be excited about it because that will create something beautiful.
What about if one spouse is free with money and the other is tight? How do you work out those differences?
Usually, the underlying annoyance is not the money but the feeling that our spouse doesn’t understand us. Timecode 26:13 has the perfect example to portray this point! Every spouse wants validation and to feel understood by the one person in their life that they chose.
Your marriage is a bank account. If all you do is make withdrawals the account can’t handle it. We need to make constant deposits to withdraw. Listen in at 39:00 to hear what a marriage bank account is and how to keep it in credit!
Ten tips on how to deposit into your husband’s marriage bank account:
- Be prepared for your husband when he comes home
- Be in tune with something he asks
- Communicate in advance about important things
- Show love even when he doesn’t deserve it
- Be the one to apologize even if you weren’t the one who was wrong (assuming he doesn’t abuse this)
- Appreciate his family
- Sometimes give him surprises (a little note on his bed)
- When he speaks, LISTEN, don’t just wait to talk.
- Do something he cares about.
- Save him money and tell him when you did!
55:06 has a story that will show you how to show your spouse you value them, and it might just make them change too!
We all have our dreams and that’s okay, but we must put in the work to get there.
Try This At Home:
Choose one of the ten tips to fill your husband’s bank account and do it once this week.
