Creating a Magical Marriage
with Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz
Do you long to create that fairytale marriage dreams are made of?
On this episode of Ladies TalkShow, Leah speaks with guest expert Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz, a world-renowned author and speaker, famous for providing inspiration with depth.
Rabbi Tatz explains that the key to a blissful marriage is for you and your husband to each be givers.
Leah clarifies: A wife gives to her husband by being a good receiver.
Being a good receiver will transform your husband into a good giver.
How do you react when your husband gives to you?
When we receive what our husband gives with warmth and gratitude, it creates good feelings, which will encourage him to give again!
If a wife constantly gives and doesn’t feel her efforts are reciprocated, what can she do?
To address this question, we get a bonus guest: Rebbetzin Tatz, wife of the man himself!
Communication is part of giving. If there is something that is not satisfying to a wife, she must be able to communicate that effectively to her husband, without accusing or blaming.
How does she do this?
- Judge him favorably
- Explain gently how helpful and meaningful it is to you when he does xyz
- Follow up with compliments when he gets it right
Leah asks: What does marriage accomplish spiritually in our lives?
Rabbi Tatz responds: The world is broken and it’s our job to create unity. The ultimate unity is with ourselves. We long to marry to find the part of ourselves which is missing. Marriage is a completion of self.
So why is it so hard?
A person develops the most and the fastest through facing struggles. It is how we reach that completion that is the goal of life. As we get beyond the struggle, we find the enjoyment in becoming unified.
Leah asks: Spouses are out of energy due to Covid-19 and they’re burned out. There is so much emotional drama! What would you advise to reinvigorate closeness in marriage?
Rebbetzin Tatz responds: We all must find a way. Shabbos is an opportunity, so put energy into any aspect of it that works for you. Very few families eat together during the week. On Shabbos there are no interruptions, technology is not allowed, and it’s much easier to sit at a meal together and connect.
Leah asks Rabbi and Rebbetzin Tatz to provide…
5 Things You Can Do Today to Bring Magic into Your Marriage
- Cook a nice meal and say, “This is for you!”
- Take care of yourself. We tend to get all dressed up to go out; we should dress up inside our homes for our husbands! Even in pressured times, choose one extra thing- like swiping on lipstick before you greet him.
- Dedicate private time to go out together- without your phones! If going out isn’t doable right now, sit and play a board game together. Learn something together that appeals to you both!
- Compliment your husband! Notice and appreciate what your husband does and tell him! Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for!
- Notice what is important to your husband and respect those things and the time he spends with them- even if you don’t understand why he finds them important!
Leah adds, the number one way to get respect from your husband, is to be respectful of him!
Can a magical marriage happen, even after 20 years of being married?
Rabbi and Rebbetzin Tatz conclude: You will have a positive response when you focus on what your husband needs and enjoy the process of giving it to him. This can be hard, so you need to pray for help and wisdom and energy. If a wife can put aside her ego and use her sensitivity, she has the power to make amazing changes!
Try This at Home:
Be on the lookout for things to compliment your husband about- it is a guaranteed way to give your whole relationship a lift!
Watch the full episode for more details!
Additional Links:
To reach Rabbi Tatz, or explore more of his lectures and books: akivatatz.com/
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