I may not be perfect, but my husband is an impossible perfectionist!

Join Leah for a Q & A session as she addresses some of your questions about husbands with issues and helps us to realize that actually… we all have issues!

Viewer Questions:

Question 1) My husband is a perfectionist and expects everything perfectly in place. I’ve been married for 2 years and am expecting. I can’t even keep up with my home now, and I’m worried about what will be after the baby is born.

Leah: Assuming it’s not OCD, ask him what his priorities are in terms of a tidy home. If his list overwhelms you then communicate your fears about how you’ll manage once you’ve had the baby. Remember, if you focus on fulfilling your husband’s needs there will be more bracho (blessing) in your entire home. What you view as his perfectionism may actually only be a small list of preferences which is manageable. Keep in mind not to make him feel bad if he is a perfectionist, this is how G-d made him, if he feels you are listening and caring about him, he won’t expect or demand as much.

Question 2) What about when it’s the other way around and my husband’s mess drives me crazy!

Leah: Try to place it on a scale of 1-10 from unmanageable to annoying to give perspective. Put a system in place. Would you rather your husband put his energy into keeping things neat according to your standards or looking after and connecting with you better. Think about what you request of him and don’t let him feel he’s a disappointment in your eyes.

Question 3) Can you address the issue of spending money, particularly for cleaning help?

Leah: The husband has to feel that he is the captain of the ship, the wife can navigate, but the most effective way to instigate change is to hand him the control. Try to influence him, not control him. Rather than being angry at him, try to understand his perspective and communicate from this place.

4) My husband and I joke with each other, often being sarcastic and using negative humour. We are okay with it, however, is it okay to act this way in front of others?

Leah: Sarcasm never works so remove that no matter what. Teasing could work but it’s a fine line and it can go sour so fast. Be mindful that men and women are different, and to generalize, teasing doesn’t affect a man as much as it might affect a woman. As long as it’s light-hearted and never at anyone’s expense, it can work, but only in private.

Try This At Home:

If you have an issue with your husband, rather than pointing to him, think about what thinking or action you can do to make it better.