Do you ever feel like your kids are just not measuring up to their potential? Do you wish you knew how to help them be the best they can be?

In this episode, Leah talks with Faige Kramer, a master educator with more than 25 years of experience (and daughter of world-famous Rabbi Paysach Krohn!), to expand on…

5 Practical Tools to Bring Out the Best in Your Child

A happy child is a successful child. The less anxiety, the more success.

The 5 things are in no particular order, and they are ideas, not rules- take what works for you!

Tool #1: Nurture Their Interests

Know what your children love and what they’re good at, and give them opportunities to tap into those things. When we nurture these things, our kids can even exceed our expectations. Watch what they choose to do, what they like to talk about. Support and cheer them in those interests. If your child sings, get her in a choir and go to every performance. Give specific compliments. (Not “you were amazing”, but “that high note was so on gorgeous and on point”.)

If you’re not sure what area your child excels in, try EVERYTHING. Start with what you and your husband excel at, since sometimes that is passed down. Keep trying whatever you can think of. Eventually you’ll hit it!

Viewer Question: What if you are torn between being there for your husband and being there for you kid?

Faige: Involve your kids in cheering on your husband

Leah: If your hubby wants you to do something at a time that conflicts with a kid event and it can’t be rescheduled, your husband comes first.

Faige: When you go to every other event, kids are flexible about exceptions

Leah: Plus, you show them about respecting your husband, which he needs and appreciates.

Viewer Question: What if being involved with your kids is preventing self-care?

Faige: Self-care is so important- you need to have balance. Block out time for yourself. Include other kids in cheering on their siblings so it’s not too much to give to each one.

Tool #2: Embrace Parental Differences

Often one parent is more cerebral and the other is more emotional- both sides are so important. In the case of single parents, try to find someone to provide that balance to you, whether it’s a rabbi or teacher or other family member.

At parent/teacher conferences, BOTH parents should ALWAYS be present, at the very least on the phone if it’s impossible in person. This sends an important message to your kids about how much you care.

Tool #3: Fair vs. Equal

Fair does not mean equal. Fair is each child getting what he/she needs at any particular moment. For a great true story illustrating this point, tune in at 35:11!

Viewer Question: Catering to each kid’s talent can get so expensive! Art lessons, music lessons, plus tuition…oy!

Faige: Prioritize what you are spending money on.  It’s not easy, but do whatever you can.

Leah adds: Sometimes you can barter and trade off skills with friends and neighbors.

Tool #4: Teach Responsibility

Give a child responsibility. It leads to accountability. When they finish something, they feel so satisfied and capable. Always thank them and give a specific compliment.

Tool #5: Let Kids be Kids

There’s an expression: “Let a child be a child when he’s young so he can be an adult when he’s older.” This tool debunks that: Let him be a child because he is one! Children need to be kids because that’s what they are! Don’t put adult expectations on them because it’s not realistic and will only lead to failure.

Viewer Question: What if your spouse is critical of your child in what they’re trying to excel in?

Faige: Why are they critical? Is it their nature, or do they think the child is not good at it? Often when you go out on a limb and find the good and encourage them, they’ll be successful.

Leah adds: Ask your spouse in private about why he tends to react that way.

Faige: Every child thinks they’re amazing at everything until someone tells them otherwise. They’ll figure out over time what they really excel at and what they don’t. You don’t need to be the one to tell them.

Try This at Home

Start paying attention to what your kids take an interest in and what they are good at so you can start to nurture growth in those areas.

Press the arrow on the bottom right to scroll up to watch the show!

Additional Links:

• Follow her on Instagram: cj_flk_kramer
• Check out Faige Kramer’s website: com