Oops, did we write monster-in-law? Sorry, typo! We meant mother-in-law.
Join us for another powerful Deep Dive show where Leah gives guidance on what to do if a mother-in-law gets too involved; sticking herself where she might not be wanted and placing your husband in a very sticky position. It’s time to switch from ‘them versus me’ to ‘us versus her!’
Viewer Questions:
Chani: My mother-in-law frequently gets involved with my parenting choices and it’s very frustrating. I have asked my husband to speak to her about this, but he says he doesn’t want to be in between his mother and I. What should I do?
Leah: This is tough because it’s his job to be in the middle. There are three things you can do. Either, have an open conversation with your mother-in-law if she is the type to be able to hear you. Timecode 01:56 will show you how to approach her-eek! The next idea is to speak to your husband letting him know how you feel and how badly you need his support and loyalty. The final resort is to ask a Rov to see if you should keep your distance as protecting your marriage comes before honoring parents.
Goldy: Every time we are with my in-laws I feel like my mother-in-law tries to “steal” my husband from me. I understand that she doesn’t get to see him often, but it feels very uncomfortable when she whispers to him in the corner of the room for a long time while I am left watching my kids or sitting on the couch on my own.
Leah: This is real disloyalty from your husband and it’s not okay. If they need to speak about something private, it needs to be in another room with an explanation of why, not in front of her. You need to have a pre-emptive conversation with your husband- timecode 14:35 will show you different ideas of what to do. Shalom bayis comes first. Timecode 17:55 will show you how your mother-in-law should be spoken to firmly yet kindly. A mother-in-law treating you badly is unkind, a husband treating you unkindly is unacceptable.
Rina: I feel so overwhelmed with life. I’m busy keeping the house running smoothly, which my husband thinks is important. But it’s at the expense of a present wife, which I think is important. Which one is more important?
Leah: This a great question and it’s one for your husband. This is so common- it is so tough juggling the roles of a wife and mother. Show your husband how much you want to follow what he wants but how much you want to be present for him. Think about what you’re able to compromise on and what you’re not, plan how to say it, then approach him and ask his advice. Just make sure not to make his vision and his way “wrong.”
Try This At Home:
One time this week have a conversation with your husband to solve an issue that has been bugging you for a while.
