Ever feel like an unworthy person, an unfit wife or an unhappy lady? (Or all three!?)

Join Leah with guest speaker Rebbetzin Feige Twerski as they discuss why us women feel so unworthy and how to let go of our judgements and resentments to bring out the best in ourselves and in our husbands. Dear friends, it’s time to finally start creating that happy home we dream of.

What is the biggest obstacle to shalom bayis today?

• We are all so self-absorbed and we live parallel lives to our husbands. We need to stop and think -what’s most important in my life?
• A woman makes or breaks a man, not only a man but a home. She has such power. Men make time holy, women make space holy. What that means practically is that we need to create a happy home; we’re the only ones with the power to make a home that the husband is eager to come home to.
• Same goes for our children. That they should know they have a mother who will hug them and care for them. Life isn’t easy out there. There should be an oasis for a husband and children to come home to. Us women create that space. Especially these days where there is so much pull outside the house.
• Listen in at timecode 04:25 for a story that will inspire you to have a happy home.
• Every minute of the day we should strive to have a home our family wants to come home to.
• It’s not an easy thing, we all have things that drag us down. Regarding these negative things, it’s helpful to tell ourselves gam ze y’aavor (this too will pass,) but a happy home lasts forever.

Many women just want to survive each day, let alone have a happy home. In the moment, how can a women create a happy home?

• Us women don’t give ourselves credit for the things we do, and this drains our energy, it’s so important to feel good about ourselves.
• Every night we should make a list of what we did that we’re proud of. Take time to focus on what we did do well.
• Don’t have unreal expectations, just normal expectations, if we exceed, that’s great, but we shouldn’t beat ourselves up if not, as that will prevent us from building a happy home. Feeling good about ourselves helps us to function.

How do we get to that place of not feeling unworthy?

• Many of us feel unworthy because of our childhood. Recognizing this and seeking help is necessary. We all need a pat on the back and to be told we are doing well.
• Writing a list of what we did well helps us feel more worthy.

What is the most important factor for shalom bayis?

• There is huge merit for keeping quiet in an argument. Be mevater and wait to speak about charged topics until a calmer time. This creates a safe space for our husbands.
• Make time for each other.

How can women get over their resentments to be more loving?

• Having a good friend in place who we can offload to is crucial.
• Realizing there is always a story behind someone’s behavior, can help us feel more compassionate instead of resentful.

What are some action steps women can take to fulfil our role as wives?

• Putting away phones when our husbands come into the house. Having time together without phones will alone help communication and communication is so important.
• Gently communicate our needs before resentment builds up.
• When our husband does something we like, praising him for it and expressing how it makes us feel will encourage him to do it more.

How can a woman communicate well to her husband?

• We can make a negative statement or switch it to a positive statement. Timecode 27:07 will show you how!
• We want to be his supporter, not his detractor. We want to enhance his energy and abilities, not drain them.

Try This At Home:

One time this week, do a small but deliberate act of kindness for your husband.