Of course, it’s special to have a baby…so why do I feel so down?!

Join Leah with Guest Speaker Rivki Dwek as they unravel the difference between baby blues and perinatal mood disorder. Ladies, listen in and feel validated, informed and empowered as you understand your hormones and moods on a whole new level. It’s time to enjoy those early stages of motherhood and beyond!

Questions:

What’s a normal way to feel postpartum?

• It’s normal to feel vulnerable, low and worried. There’s a clear boundary when some of these emotions become a medical illness.
• The main thing is to ask for support when needed. There’s a huge stigma about asking for help but this is a sign of strength.
• Women need to stay aware of how they’re feeling and seek medical and professional help if they suspect it may be out of their norm.
• Early intervention is key as perinatal mood disorder can spiral quickly and there are treatment plans available. This is a medical disorder, just like a broken leg.
• It’s measured by how often it happens and how it impacts you. It’s normal to feel down, anxious or worried. But there’s a general stability that helps a woman bounce back. The way to know it’s a disorder is if these feelings last longer than 1.5-2 weeks.
• Know your own normal. If the feelings don’t feel familiar and you feel out of control, and this continues past 2 weeks then seek help.

How does this differ from Baby Blues?

• During pregnancy, excess hormones are produced to maintain the pregnancy. After delivery, the hormones plummet, which explains weepiness, anxiousness and mood swings.
• Baby blues should taper off after 2 weeks. Don’t wait and see past this point, just reach out to your doctor or midwife so they can monitor it.
• Anxiousness about the safety of the baby, extreme and regular mood swings with no pickup are signs of perinatal mood disorder.

How does a woman know it’s not just a lack of sleep that’s making her feel grumpy?

• Sleep deprivation is certainly a trigger that can cause emotional angst. The first thing is to try to find support in this area, e.g. a night nurse or help with the baby during the day to catch a few hours.

What can we as a community do to recognize when another woman is not coping?

• Firstly, lose judgment. Motherhood is beautiful but it is challenging and this needs to be recognized.
• Early motherhood is difficult, and mothers need to be looked after. We need to move away from the expectation of snapping back into things.
• Help moms in a way they need help, not in a way you want to give help.

Can you explain the line between what’s a normal issue and what’s a mental health issue, so women don’t feel like victims?

• It’s normal to feel down, frustrated, helpless and anxious. We all have mental health and we’re all human; we all have those days. Where it verges out of the norm is when it goes on for a long time. This indicates that something has shifted in the brain and needs to be corrected.
• The women who seek help are strong because they recognize something isn’t feeling normal and they want to be functioning mothers and wives. Be honest with yourself and recognize your own normal.
• If it impacts your functioning and is lasting over 2 weeks, then you need support.
• It doesn’t happen to a certain type, and no one is immune to it. 1 in 4 women experience this disorder.

Can you walk us through how you’d help a woman to heal?

• Firstly, get a diagnosis from a doctor.
• If there is anxiety, the treatment plan would include treating this.
• With the understanding that this is a physical illness, it needs to be treated as such.
• Therapy, when utilized correctly and with a specialized perinatal therapist, can powerfully make shifts in the brain. Some women do great with this.
• Listen in at 25:26 to hear an example of how powerful therapy can be for a woman to understand her triggers.
• Medication is the other aspect and is an easy fix to a difficult illness.
• It’s not about fault; a woman hasn’t done anything wrong. A perinatal mood disorder is a medical reaction to birth.

How do people get over the stigma of mental health to seek this help?

• Normalizing it, realizing 1 in 4 women go through it. Discussing it within communities is vital.
• Knowing that plenty of women have this and come out the other side.
• 1 in 10 men also struggle, their hormones also change, it’s important to be aware of this.
• Leaders of communities should lead conversations about this and normalize it.

Those who are struggling, just know you’re not alone and you don’t have to suffer. There is so much joy to be found in motherhood and it’s in your hands to be well enough to enjoy this. Don’t feel ashamed, it’s so common. It’s painful, but there is light on the other side. Reach out to someone.