I wish he would go out more- I don’t want him around me so much!
Join us for a Get Real with Leah show where we meet Perel; a wonderful woman who is feeling suffocated by her husband’s perpetual presence. Listen in as Leah takes things to a different level and helps Perel see how to get the distance she needs inside her house whilst bringing more closeness inside her marriage.
You Are Allowed to Need Space!
We love our husbands with all our hearts, but when you are in a cozy apartment with six children and your husband is home around the clock after being laid off, it is completely natural to feel overwhelmed. Perel bravely shared a struggle so many women secretly feel guilty about: the deep ache for mental and physical breathing room.
First, let’s clear the air: needing space does not mean there is something wrong with you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you don’t love your husband! Every human being needs a moment to catch their breath and exhale.
The “B-Minus” Game Plan: Carving Out Your Window
When you can’t have the whole house to yourself, shoot for what I call the “B-Minus” compromise. Instead of stewing in frustration, carve out a sacred, agreed-upon 30 to 45 minutes during the day—whether it’s enjoying your morning coffee or unwinding right before the kids burst through the door.
The secret is all in how you present it: speak to him with warmth and tenderness. Tell him, “Sweetheart, having this quiet half-hour to recharge has nothing to do with you—it’s just what I need so I can be an energetic, loving, and attentive wife to you for the other twenty-three and a half hours!” When that small need is met, the rest of the day instantly feels lighter.
The Secret to Bolstering His Self-Esteem
When a man is in between jobs, his self-worth and masculine identity take a tremendous blow. He may feel embarrassed to be seen outside during work hours, and having him hover around the kitchen or do domestic chores can unintentionally make him feel even smaller.
This is where your incredible Binah Yeseirah (feminine intuition) comes in. Use your wisdom to build him up. Remind him of his greatness, tell him how much you believe in his future, and subtly arrange opportunities for him to shine—whether that means hosting a couple for a Shabbat meal where he can lead the table, or encouraging him to share his talents with family and friends. When a husband feels deeply respected and valued by his wife, he finds the inner strength to rise, recharge, and conquer the world again.
And if you want to discover even more ways to share what you need without triggering defensiveness, check out our must-watch episode with Dr. David Lieberman on Husband-Nagging That Actually Works! to learn how loving respect inspires genuine closeness and lasting change.
