Is it not enough that my finances are in dire straits, now my marriage too?!
Join Leah with guest speaker Yael Trusch for powerful tips and tricks to discuss your monetary concerns without generating marital concerns.
Leah’s Points To Ponder:
- Money can be an impediment to closeness. We need to change this so that money brings us closer together and doesn’t split us apart.
Top Tips:
- Often, financial difficulty hits and couples realize that there were conversations which never happened, and unspoken assumptions and expectations.
- Money is not just numbers, money is emotional; it represents acquired beliefs, behaviours and thought processes over the years. These can often conflict with our spouses.
- Make an allocated time (up to 1 hour) at least once a month. Make sure the environment is light and have a “money date.” There should be no blaming or attacking, only empathy and vulnerability whilst communicating feelings and thoughts around money.
- The first step is to understand where our spouse is coming from by understanding their past experience with money.
- Listen in at timecode 12:00 for an example of a couple coming from totally different sides of a coin.
- Next, discuss what money means to you. Is money good/bad? Fill in the sentences- “rich people are…/poor people are…” Get to know your belief system and your money story. Then you can work together on making a new money story to be in sync with each other.
- There is no such thing as lack of time, there is lack of priorities. Prioritize this as lack of correct communication can cause tension in a marriage.
- A wife shouldn’t take control of the finances, but she should be with her husband; approaching him as a teammate from a place of care can melt away the pressure he’s under.
- Ensuring we put our trust in Hashemensures we have a more tranquil life.
- Tune in at timecode 37:49 to hear how to approach a husband in a light, open way when he keeps you in the dark and is closed about finances.
- The problems start when we blame. It’s a sensitive topic and tensions can escalate so we need to use our binah yeseira(women’s intuition) to make the dates light. If it gets too heated, stop and reschedule. It’s crucial that it’s at a relaxed and scheduled time.
- Timecode 55:49 will help you differentiate between monetary problems versus marital problems.
