“I wish you would cook like my mother!” – The words every wife dreads to hear!

Join Leah as she coaches Rosie, whose husband demands that she cook him supper even though…are you ready…he eats at his mother’s house every night! We know what you’re thinking…throw the food in his face! But hold that plate and listen in to hear some real food for thought.

Issue In Hand:

• Rosie’s husband eats supper at his mother’s house. He still demands that she makes him supper in order that he feels nurtured.
• It can often be past midnight when he requests the food she has made, and often he doesn’t end up eating it.
• His parnassah(income) has gone significantly down since marriage.

Leah’s Points To Ponder:

• A wife never has to accept her situation in silence if she’s suffering. The question isn’t whether she can make a change but rather how she can make the change.
• We need to coax our husbands into being the best husband he can be. There are 2 steps:
• Gain absolute clarity on how things should be according to our mesorah(tradition).
• Figure out the best way to have a calm discussion about it.
• If a wife wants to please her husband and give in to irrational demands, that’s up to her. But if it’s emotionally distressing, she should not be suffering in this way.
• Sometimes an issue stems from cultural traditions or expectations from childhood, in which case the husband needs to separate idealism from reality.
• According to our mesorah, a man needs to leave his mother’s house and cleave to his wife. A Rav needs to get involved to give him the Torah
• It’s likely that the reason theparnassah has gone down is because of the giver/receiver dynamic. What can she do about that? Become the best receiver- watch our show on giver/receiver and listen in at 29:28 to become an open vessel ready to receive an abundance of bracha (blessing).
• A wife needs to coax her husband towards the actions which make her happy.  Tune in at timecode 36:05 to hear how to calmly coax without being bossy or manipulative!
• Every woman deserves to get what she should have- a husband can be doing something wrong, and we don’t need to silently stand by and accept it- but we need to communicate softly.

Try This At Home:

One time this week, fully receive from your husband by saying a heartfelt “thank you.”