5 Ways to Recover from Anxiety
with Dr. David H. Rosmarin

With COVID and other challenges, life seems more uncertain than ever before. How can we cope without anxiety overwhelming us?

Leah speaks with Dr. David H. Rosmarin, assistant professor of Harvard’s Department of Psychiatry and Director of the Center for Anxiety, to break the science down into practical steps for coping with anxiety that we can put into practice TODAY!

First, Dr. Rosmarin clarifies the issue of anxiety as a whole:
How we handle uncertainty is what determines how anxious we are going to be.

Leah asks,
“How does that relate to resilience? There’s been a lot of talk about resilience these days…”

Dr. Rosmarin explains:
Resilience is the knowledge that whatever comes my way, I will handle it. It may be messy and uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, I’m still here.

 So how do we become resilient?

1. Accept that anxiety is natural and to be expected
   Life is full of unknowns and unknowns create anxiety. When we judge ourselves for our anxiety, it makes it worse. Now, not only am I anxious, but I’m anxious about being anxious! We all feel anxious sometimes. It’s part of being human. So don’t beat yourself up!

   Although some people are more prone to anxiety than others, genetics actually play a very minor role. The primary factors are your temperament, how you were raised, and how you choose to handle uncertainty. Which leads right into our next point …

2. Face your fears
   We think that when we’re anxious, we need to breathe and relax and get over it. Just think positively! But the opposite is true!

   When we try to push away our fears, the undercurrent of tension follows us throughout the day. Don’t let anxiety run your life.

   The best method for tackling your fears is called exposure therapy. When you expose yourself to your fears (don’t worry, you won’t explode!), you are helping rewire your brain, creating better ways to cope in the future.

   What does this look like practically?

   Give yourself 5 minutes in a quiet corner to really immerse yourself in your fears: feel them and imagine them and play them out in your mind. This will cause a spike in your anxiety at first, but stick with it. After 5 minutes, come out of it and go back to your day. The more often you do this, the less time it will take for your anxiety to decrease.

   The people who are most successful with this method are those who believe in a Higher Power. Knowing there is One who is in control (and it’s not you!) will help you face your uncertainties and focus on what you can control.

3. Be kind to yourself.
   Overcoming anxiety can take time. Be patient…and take care of yourself:
   • Proper diet
   • Exercise
   • Sleep

   Sleep is an especially big factor in how we cope with anxiety.

   Self-compassion is crucial. Cut yourself some slack!

   Self-care can be tough right now, so do what you can. Even a ten-minute a day reset can make a big difference.

   Self-care is not selfish! It’s how we get the energy to accomplish what we need to accomplish.

4. Anxiety should bring people closer together.
   When you face anxiety, it’s important to have someone who can be there to support you. Many of us don’t like to show our vulnerabilities. At the same time, we need someone to rely on, be it friend, spouse, relative, or therapist, . Don’t suffer alone. Be vulnerable. The more you tend to rely on someone, the more likely they are to be there for you.

   A big part of why there is a mental health epidemic (even bigger than the COVID one!) is because people are trying to be totally independent. Independence is toxic. Interdependence is the goal.

   But how do we reach out without offending our husbands? We don’t want them to think we’re blaming them for our anxiety!

   In a gentle, vulnerable tone:
   Sweetie, I don’t know why, but I’m feeling really anxious about (insert money, health, whatever is on your plate). I 100% trust you and believe in you, so I don’t know why I’m so worried. Can you please comfort me?

   Leah asks,
   “What if you’re a perfectionist and you want people to think you’ve got it all together?”

   Dr. Rosmarin replies:
   A perfectionist is guaranteed to have anxiety because a perfectionist has a hard time reaching out for help. No one is perfect! To curb perfectionist tendencies, force yourself to do things imperfectly! Put those crayons away out in the wrong order! Face your anxiety!

5. When your partner feels anxiety, help them to open up.
   Your husband is wound up and obviously has a lot on his mind. On his mind, but not out of his mouth!

   “Honey,” you say, “it seems like you may be having a hard time. Can we talk about it? I’d love to be there for you.”

   Anxiety doesn’t have to get in the way of your relationship, it can actually enhance it.

   Talking things through will increase the bond between you and your partner. When you make your partner the one who sees your vulnerabilities and vice versa, it creates a deeper sense of intimacy.

To sum up…
COVID has taught us that we are truly not in control and have no idea what will happen next.

The key to building resilience is to acknowledge that life is uncertain, confront your fears, and let compassion for yourself and others guide you.

We’re all in the same boat! Let’s turn our independence into interdependence and get through this together!

Try This at Home
The five steps in a nutshell:

1. 1. Accept It
   2. Face It
   3. Be Kind to Yourself
   4. Reach Out for Support
   5. Be There for Others

The more we practice these steps, the easier it gets!

Watch the full episode for more details!

Additional Links:

Top 9 Secrets of Self Care!

Dr. David H. Rosmarin can be reached at www.centerforanxiety.org

For more on spirituality and its impact on mental health, check out Dr. Rosmarin’s new book, available on Amazon!