Do you have outbursts you can’t control?!
Leah, is this a rhetorical question?! We are women — that means moody, emotional, temperamental, and oftentimes hormonal. 😜
Of course we have outbursts!! 😂
It’s #MarriageMotivatorMonday — So let’s get motivated!
Often times we have outbursts over silly things. Even if the stuff we are upset about isn’t silly at the time, during the outburst a part of us (the rational part 😉) knows that the outburst is out of proportion — we think to ourselves “I shouldn’t be doing this. I wish I had more self-control. I wish I had more self-mastery.”
Deep down we know that our outburst was not really justified. And even if it was justified, we should have behaved better. However, often in order to make ourselves feel better and to not feel so guilty over our outburst, we start to justify our actions – “He deserved that! He should have known better, He’s done this so many times already and he knows it is so upsetting to me!”
You Can Always Improve
It’s a normal natural thing. But it’s also not okay. And the best way to fix it is to apologize. Some of us are great at apologizing and some of us are lousy at it. If you know that you are really bad at it, work on getting better. You can always improve.
If you’re really bad at apologizing, get better. Everyone can get better at apologizing. The secret is to apologize right away — to do it fast without waiting too long or allowing your “justification voice” to crop up.
Apologizing Brings Connection With Your Husband
As you develop the apologizing muscle, your ability to reconnect quickly with people, and most importantly with your husband, will go up exponentially. You want to apologize quickly and say “I’m sorry I said that! I’m sorry I flew off the handle. I had a rough day. What you did wasn’t horrible and I shouldn’t have overreacted like that. I’m sorry!”
Apologizing takes the fuse off things and doesn’t make a 3rd World War out of the situation, causing you and your husband to be upset at each other for three weeks about something that’s pretty trite.
We all have outbursts. The secret is to apologize quickly and over time to work on controlling ourselves so our outbursts are few and far between.
