The distance between us is greater than the closeness-how can this ever work?

Join Leah with Guest Speaker Rebbetzin Slovie Jungreis Wolff as they delve into the painful topic of why so many young couples are divorcing. Listen in and discover how to make some real shifts in your mindset and marriage and bridge those gaps between you and your husband.

Why are so many young couples getting divorced today?

• We’re living in a culture where many haven’t dealt with struggles or difficulties. Parents often fill in instead of allowing kids to sweat a bit or be uncomfortable. Then they get married, and it can be tough. Can they sweat and sacrifice for another person?
• The basic comfort level has become so high, we are an Amazon Prime culture.
• Expectations are crucial. We expect our kids to be perfect, ourselves and so too our husbands. If a photograph isn’t perfect, we photoshop it. Everyone is posting what they do or pictures of it, and we expect our lives to look similar, but it’s not real life.
• We don’t know what real life is, we expect life to be a fairytale. Many of us didn’t learn to struggle and grow muscles of resilience, which is needed in marriage.
• We shouldn’t always try to save the day for our children, it can be uncomfortable and disappointing; this is good training for marriage.

How can we reverse this once a woman is already married?

• By asking ourselves how we grow in life. In a desert, the sun is always shining but nothing grows.
• Be mindful of your blessings. Don’t look at what others have, it’s unhealthy and you’ll never be happy.

How can a woman make this shift when she is full of resentment?

• The resentments might be real, but our inner voices can exaggerate our reality. What’s our story that we’re writing? We should tell ourselves that our husband wants to please us, and we need to find a way to get back into positive territory.  We should be the one to make the shift.

How does a woman’s self-esteem affect how she views her husband?

• Many people go into marriage hoping the marriage will fix them, but their holes are still there. A person with healthy self-esteem, even when things are hard, will feel capable of resolving it, whether it be an apology, accepting forgiveness or open communication.
• Good self-esteem helps good communication.

What is self-esteem and how can we grow it?

• Having an identity so that negative comments don’t crush us. We get an identity by feeling alive which comes from giving not taking. When we are a life force who gives, we are needed and vital and we have self-esteem.
• Before we go to sleep, we should ask ourselves whose eyes did we make shine today? Then we have purpose.
• Knowing that nothing is random also helps us with our self-esteem.
• Utilizing our gifts is also crucial for feeling good.

How is social media affecting women?

• We all have tough days where there is less love in the home. What doesn’t help is seeing what others post and making those poisonos comparisons. Seeing what others have strips us of our joy. We damage ourselves.
• We all have a mindset of “if only” but whenever we hear that voice, if we shut it down, we’ll be a happier person.

What is one action women can do to bridge the gap and get closer to their husbands?

• Connect by being curious about your husband. Somehow when we date, we ask questions and show interest and show respect for their insights and dreams. Keep up that curiosity. Bring the spark back into your life.

Try This At Home:

One time this week, ask your husband curious questions.