Date Night
Your marriage comes first. Before any other obligation. Before any other commitment. You made a commitment to each other to build a family together. The primary relationship in your life is your marriage.
In our hectic world unless you block away time to devote to your marriage. you will find every other priority will consume your time and you won’t spend the quality time together that is vital to a successful marriage. As much as possible the dating after marriage should mimic your dating before marriage.
Weekly
As a couple set a regular time each week to go out.
Setting
The dates need not be expensive or intricate. The goal is to do things that allow a relaxed atmosphere and allows you to spend time together.
As an example, a movie or play is a poor date (leaving alone the issue of appropriateness). Both of you are absorbed in watching the production. There isn’t much connection. Activities like miniature golf, a hike, a museum would be examples of light activities that allow for you to comfortably, naturally spend time together. The date need not be specifically at night.
If family logistics allow, Sunday afternoon could be an ideal “Date.”
A date should be 3 hours.
Out of the house
Staying at home doesn’t work. When a couple goes out, they get dressed, leave behind the chores and activities that consume them and have the opportunity to spend quality time together. Going to a community restaurant where you will meet many other couples is also not recommended as you will be a. on show b. likely be interrupted.
Husband is responsible to plan the date
Part of the role of the husband is to court his wife. Find a list of activities that both of you find pleasant. Review the list with your spouse and chose the ones that work best.
The wife is responsible to arrange childcare
It is best to arrange a permanent weekly babysitter.
No family business talk
The purpose of the date is to give you a chance to bond as a couple. Any talk about children, chores or budget is off-limits.
During the Date
No agenda
No issues.
No working on problems.
(No working on my spouse)
The purpose of the date is to enjoy each other’s company. To connect in an emotional romantic way. It is not the time to explain to your spouse the problems in your marriage, or what you are missing. It is the time to build your marriage in a positive way.
No phones
If you need to be accessible in case of emergency, the spouse who is less absorbed in the phone should block all calls except for the babysitter and one other emergency contact.
