I want to complain. I also want to be a happy wife…but how??
Join Leah for this phenomenal Deep Dive into how to be that happy, upbeat wife we dream to be, yet also being real with ourselves and our need to complain to our husbands. Ladies, it’s time to strike that balance as we learn tips and tricks about how to complain…the right way!
Viewer Questions:
Rachel: Firstly, I really enjoy your classes, thank you. Though I generally think of myself as a happy person; around my husband, I am generally a kvetch; how can I allow myself to vent and “let my guard down” whilst still being happy and upbeat?
Leah: We need to surround ourselves with friends to vent to. Many of us isolate ourselves so much that all we have is our husbands. It’s not a good idea to save our kvetching for someone who only wants to make us happy.
The more connections we have, the happier and healthier we are.
If we find we’re complaining every day, that’s our sign to find a better support system. We’ll be happier and it’s good self-care.
Counterbalance the moaning with complimenting and appreciating your husband.
Devorah: I feel like if I don’t complain then my husband won’t know how hard my day was, and I won’t get the appreciation I need from him.
Leah: We should write down all the things we want to complain about.
Giving a preface first that we just want to vent and then rattling off the list is a softer way to complain. It’s key to say something like: “I’m happy in life, I just want to complain and hear you say that I’m amazing.”
Making sure we’re appreciating and having empathy about his day will balance the relationship.
Then thanking him for listening and telling him how much better we feel is crucial.
Perry: My husband’s mother and sisters are the perfect type. Pretty, tidy, well-balanced. I’ve always felt an inferiority complex since marrying him. He used to compare me to them, and whilst he doesn’t verbally do this anymore, I know that he thinks it. It makes me so unhappy, and I can’t be my real self because he’s always watching me and mentally comparing. How can I be comfortable being myself?
Leah: Comparing is taking certain qualities and comparing to other specific qualities. We need to see our whole picture with all of our qualities.
There is something extraordinary about each of us that we might not be tapped into because we’re so focused on what we’re not.
More than knowing our weaknesses, we need to know our strengths.
Deena: Is it normal that I find it so much easier to fake being happy around my kids than my husband?
Leah: Yes, this is normal., faking happiness to kids is being a good role model.
Whilst we need to master our moods around our husbands, being fake with him is not good for the relationship.
Tanya: Can you give me one thing I can say to myself before my husband walks through the door to get me in the right frame of mind to get out of complaining mode and into closeness mode?
Leah: Usually when our husband walks through the door, it’s the craziest time.
The secret is to recognize, at this hour, that this is the toughest time of the day.
We need to tell ourselves: Connection is more important than accomplishment.
Try This At Home:
Do one thing this week to make your husband feel like a king.
