Ever feel like you’re not being heard? Ever feel like you need some more attention? Ever feel like you need more sympathy? So, do you ever…complain?!

We know the answer is “yes” to all of the above; you are female after all!

Fellow complainers, Join Leah for this Comedy Hour. Not only will you laugh your way through but you’ll finally learn the secrets you need to stop being a complainer.

Our actresses are Rachel Drummond, Julie Mann, Ziggy Ravet, and Taylor Loeb

Round #1:
TAKE 1: What should you do when you’re about to complain?
Wife complains about having to clean up, even though she has a migraine. The wife argues that if her husband does his share of helping, her headache will subside since she could then take a nap. She accuses her husband of sleeping all day when he has the sniffles! The husband says his wife looks fine and he does not need to help!
Comment from a Caller: I have a fear of asking for help because my husband will say no.
Leah: You can say, “I hate to ask you, since you do so much. However, when I need help, how would you like me to communicate that to you? Should I make a list? Would you rather me text you? Email you? What will work best for you?” It will make a difference if you talk with your husband in a loving way. Your husband wants to make you happy and it won’t burden him. Understanding the cause of your complaining will motivate you to change. Complaining is such an ingrained habit.
Here are some reasons why people complain:
* We complain because we don’t feel listened to and we need sympathy and attention.
* Something our husbands did previously might surface and we think it could be fixed by complaining.
* We perceive a lack of control.
* We have high expectations.
* We think complaining will bond us with another, but it does the opposite. We want to bond with positive people.
* By stating that you’re busy, it makes you feel important.
* Humans have an addiction to comfort. When uncomfortable in a situation is when you’re really growing!
* Many complaints are about being upset with your own life!
TAKE 2: Wife tells her husband that her head hurts. The wife compliments her husband on how wonderful he is and that he even took the trash out. The wife tells her husband that she feels weak and adds that it would mean so much to her if her husband can show her extra love.
SUCCESS!!

Question From A Caller: When I ask my husband for help, he says he’ll do it but it doesn’t get done. The promise disappoints me even more because it gave me false expectations.
Leah: Your husband knows he said yes to your request and knows he didn’t fulfill his promise to you. Your husband feels bad, even if he doesn’t show it. Before approaching your husband, write 20 awesome things about him to help you get over your resentment and to see his goodness. Then sit down and talk with your husband and compliment him. You can explain to your husband in a conversation that you could have hired a handyman in the interim and that you had a little resentment instead.

Round #2:
TAKE 1: Wife complains that her husband is too busy and doesn’t have time for any home responsibilities.
Both husband and wife complain to each other about how busy they are. The wife is quite resentful that her husband comes home very late.
Leah: Wife can have a conversation with her husband without arguing. The wife really has no way of knowing if her husband’s job is on the line if he works a little less at the office. There is a challenge a wife has of wanting her husband at home more versus wanting her husband to work more, so he could earn more money. The wife needs her husband to understand her feelings. The wife should speak from her heart, so the husband will feel respected and not get defensive. Tell your husband that it looks like he had a hard day and ask him questions about his team at work. When you connect with your husband through a conversation, he will share his burden and will cherish his wife.
TAKE 2: Wife tells her husband she’s so proud to be his partner and asks if he could delegate by trusting his team so he could be home more.
SUCCESS!

Round #3:
TAKE 1: A wife needs cleaning help because the children are home more, but they cannot afford it. The wife complains that her husband doesn’t know how much she does. The husband is tired of the wife nagging him.
The wife complains to her husband how messy the house is and that she’s not a cleaning lady. The husband says that the house looks fine to him and that the wife needs to educate the children to help more.
Leah:
5 steps to plan ahead before complaining:
1) Figure out what result you want before you start to complain
2) Journal instead. Explode on paper instead of exploding on your husband!
3) You’re not in a complaining competition. Strategize to complain less!
4) Notice the timing of your triggers
5) Practice gratitude. Look for things to be grateful about!

10 Habits to Stop Complaining in the Moment:
1) Catch yourself!
2) Ask yourself if your complaint is constructive
3) Change from complaining to venting. Preface your venting by asking, “Can I vent for a moment?”
4) Step away for a moment
5) Use distractions, such as a jigsaw puzzle.
6) Use the word, “But” after your complaint.
7) Look at the big picture and ask yourself if this will have long-term consequences
8) Sandwich your complaint with a compliment!
9) Notice you’re about to complain. Ask how you can communicate more productively.
10) Start your complaint with something positive & say one thing you’re grateful for.

TAKE 2: Wife tells her husband she’s so grateful to have him as her husband and asks if she can vent. She continues to tell him that she works all day, the washing machine broke, and she doesn’t know why she’s so exhausted.
There is instant warmth between the husband and the wife.
SUCCESS!

Question From A Caller: I have a tendency to interrupt my husband & I can’t stop it, so I avoid conversations.
Leah: Our job is to make our husbands feel heard! If your husband has a need not to be trampled, you must fulfill that need. Your husband needs to express himself and if you don’t let him, you are trampling your husband’s essence and his soul. By holding yourself back and by listening to your husband, more blessing is guaranteed to come into your home, both materially and spiritually. The way to bring more blessing into your home is by taking care of your husband. If you stop interrupting your husband, you will enjoy more connection with him and more blessings.

Round #4
TAKE 1: Wife feels she is a human alarm clock.
Wife complains she has to do all the work in the home, even though her husband took care of the children and let her sleep an extra 15 minutes. The husband thought he was being so noble, even though he didn’t feed the children breakfast, and now she must do that! The wife complains that nothing would get done if she didn’t do it. The husband complains to his wife that she yells too much at everyone before going on family outings.
Leah: Saying the same words over again will not affect any change. Step back and start fresh. Write down everything you did which failed. Ask yourself what you can do which is different than what you already tried before. Brainstorm! If you’re going on a family outing and a child isn’t ready, perhaps pull out of the driveway without them so they’ll learn. Have a conversation and reach into your husband’s heart to get him on your side, since this is a chronic problem.
TAKE 2: Wife thanked her husband for letting her sleep in and said it meant so much to her! The wife asked her husband for suggestions on how to get the children to be more punctual, and said she does not want to yell. The husband suggested to teach the children about respect, that by not being on time, it disrespects someone else’s time.
SUCCESS!