Whether or not you received your Covid Booster Shot, this Communication Booster Shot is one you don’t want to miss!
Join Leah as she continues Chapter 9 of Marriage Secrets with pages 225-228 and demonstrates perfect communication even with a husband who might be insensitive, defensive or too talkative!
Leah’s Points To Ponder:
- This work on communication is to bring us our deepest need which is closeness to our husband. If we don’t have a strong desire for closeness, we have work to do!
- Tips for listening to our husbands:
- Not being in a rush, just sitting still and giving undivided attention.
- Not having expectations about what he shares, our role is just listening.
- To ensure we are listening we should ask ourselves: “Am I talking too much?”
- Showing patience by asking if he has anything else to share.
- Never yelling. Hurtful words create unsafe homes so learn this skill as soon as possible!
- Making the time to listen to him.
- Developing a soft and open tone of voice.
- Interviewing him to extract information from him.
- Our husbands will grow from this undivided attention and form of love.
Viewer Questions:
Menucha: My husband is not very sensitive, while I am the opposite. How can I teach him to speak kindly and sensitively so I can be more open to listening to him?
Leah: Most women are more sensitive; this is how Hashem created us. This disparity between sensitivity and harshness can be a problem. It needs to be communicated when you’re both in a good place. Listen in at 07:52 to hear how to find that happy medium. Ask him if it would be okay if you could have a signal when he comes across as insensitive. If the communication comes from your heart and from a place of wanting to be closer, it should go well.
Sarah: I don’t always share when I get hurt because my husband gets defensive about everything. What can I say so my husband actually hears me instead of getting defensive?
Leah: It’s hard to say without knowing you or how you’re giving it over. Let’s assume you’re saying it perfectly and he is particularly defensive, you can approach him. Timecode 11:05 will show you how to lower his defences to give over the offence without offending him! We need to double check we’ve done all we can in terms of communicating in the best way.
Elisheva: Any tips/tricks for us women when our body’s hormones are out of whack such as in pregnancy or other times of the month etc and we feel irritable and easily say the wrong thing?
Leah: Mastery over how we treat our husbands is a lifelong challenge for every woman. Sometimes we need to try so hard not to snap, this is our avoda (work)! It’s a process and we’re on the ladder and as long as we’re moving up towards our goal, we’re doing okay. When we find ourselves in a miserable mood, we need to pre-empt and give over the (oh, so cliché) message of – it’s not you, it’s me!
Shaindy: It’s so hard to listen no matter what! Life gets in the way of that. Practically what do I do when I need to get to work or the kids need picking up? I can’t interrupt him…help!
Leah: It’s important to set boundaries. If we are listening most of the time, we can tell him it isn’t a good time. If we consistently don’t listen, he will feel like we’re not there for him. But, if we are building the continuity of listening, we can set boundaries.
Try This At Home:
One time this week do not yell, just freeze!
