I don’t mind giving my husband respect but treating him like a king is slightly problematic because…well…umm…I WANT TO BE THE KING!

Join Leah as she continues Marriage Secrets, pages 321-325, and helps us to embrace our role and crown our husband even if it seems overwhelming, goes against our nature, if we’ve crushed him for years or if he always messes up his kingship. So, to all of you wannabe kings, it’s time to relax your grasp on that crown as you grasp how to attain inner relaxation instead.

Leah’s Points To Ponder:

• We need to dedicate ourselves to crowning our husband our king.
• Joy and satisfaction are available for us to have in our homes by doing this.
• Life is so much better when there’s a king ruling the kingdom.
• Our sages tell us that if we try to laud over our husband, he will try to rule over us as a master. If we make him our king, he will treat us like his queen.

Viewer Questions:

Miriam: I want to make my husband my king, but I’ve spent so many years putting him down, it seems like an impossible task as he is so withdrawn and unconfident. I know it’s my fault. Is there something easy I can do which will have a huge effect?

Leah: Apologize. Timecode 08:46 will show you how to apologize for squashing him down in a way that will pump him up. It may take time to rebuild the trust and closeness and it may fluctuate but make the first step and it’ll start you on a whole new path.

Adelle: I’m the oldest and my parents always relied on me to take charge. It’s so difficult to hand over the reins to my husband when it is so ingrained in my nature and nurture. What can I tell myself to really give me the push I need?

Leah: I get it, it’s not easy. But the beautiful news is that once you start letting him hold the reins, you’ll have less stress and less fights and more brocha (blessings) and more shalom (peace). Start with allowing him to make the decisions on small things you don’t feel strongly about. Then work your way up. If you give him the control in most areas then when it’s something very important to you, he’ll be so willing to do it your way without a fight.

Feige: I really want to make my husband king, but it feels like an overwhelming task. Can you please give me 1 practical thing to start with?

Leah: A lot of people stand up for their husbands. That might sound way too out of your comfort zone. The main thing is to do small things that will help change your mindset to one of “he is my king.” Perhaps you could fluff his pillow, set his place first or serve him first. He may never know but the secret is- you will know!

Basia: I’ve gotten used to certain habits that disrespect my husband that I don’t even know where to begin to change things for the better. What is a small step in the right direction?

Leah: Greeting him at the door, not interrupting him or putting down your phone when he is speaking to you. Choose something easy and you’ll succeed.

Shayna Brocha: My husband likes it when I take control. However much I try to hand over the control to him, he hands it back to me. I feel a bit stuck.

Leah: Are you confusing decision-making with control? Timecode 17:49 will help you differentiate! Most husbands like to give their opinion but often, women ask for an opinion and then they do the complete opposite. Following our husband’s advice and then telling him that he was right bolsters him immeasurably. Following this strategy (with a full heart) will transform our husband’s ability to succeed!

Chana: This sounds terrible, but when I give my husband the control to make decisions he often messes up, even he realizes this. I’m doing the action of giving him control but I don’t respect him as he often messes up. I know this is unhealthy, what should I do?

Leah: Change your definition of what messing up means. Trust him, trust him, trust him and Hashem will help him to make better decisions. When you think he messes up, realize that there is a whole spiritual reality that we don’t understand. Check that you’re trusting him enough to allow the flow of brocha in or if you’re lack of trust is causing a blockage.

Try This At Home:

One time this week when you’re absolutely positive that you’re right, let it go.