Who doesn’t want more blessings in their life?

In this episode, Leah begins Chapter 5 of Marriage Secrets with pages 95-98, and lets you in on the key to getting those blessings to start pouring in!

Tune in for the first 6 minutes or so to hear the scoop in her own words, beginning at timecode 0:18!

Leah’s Points to Ponder:

• You have your own treasure chest of blessings given to you by G-d and its name is ______________(insert your husband’s name here).
• “The husband is the conduit for all blessing, meaning that bracha(blessing) does not come directly to the wife; it comes only through her husband.” – Rav Tzadok HaKohen MiLublin
• The one thing a wife can do to keep the brachaflowing continuously is to fully receive from our husbands.
• The Gemara says that all brachain the home is because of the wife. This is not a contradiction.
  • If the wife has a small capacity to receive, there is a small amount of brachaand vice versa. She is the recipient of her husband’s bracha and contains it for the home, but he is the source of the blessings, not her.

Viewer Questions:

Chayaleh: Why are our husbands the source of all blessing? What’s the purpose of our husbands being the sole conduit for bracha (blessing)?

Leah: That’s a question above my paygrade- only G-d knows why He chose to make it the husband the source of blessings. But we do know it is guaranteed to pour into your home through your husband as long as you receive from him. The bigger receiver you are, the more bracha you will have! Try this at home!

Devorah: If my husband needs to give to me in order to get more bracha (blessing) in the home- what should I do if he’s not giving to me?

Leah: Sometimes we don’t realize that for years our husbands have been trying to give to us and we’ve been blocking it, to the point where eventually they stop trying to give. We criticize what brand of ketchup he bought instead of thanking him for buying it. All men were born to give. The more you start receiving, the more you will jumpstart his giving.

Nechama: What if I try really hard to be open to receiving bracha (blessing) from my husband but more bracha doesn’t come?

Leah: When you receive, the bracha is guaranteed. But you may not see it every time. It could be that you were supposed to be in a car crash that day but because you received from your husband, when you didn’t see the stop sign, the other car avoided hitting you. Open your eyes and you will start seeing little improvements in all kinds of areas in your life.

Faygie: Is there a possibility of a situation where a husband really doesn’t know how to give?

Leah: Of course, he doesn’t know how to give! No husband knows how to give. But they are givers by nature. They just need to be shown how. You need to express your needs in a loving way and whenever they try, even if it’s not in the 100% best way, show deep appreciation to them.

Mindy: So if the bracha (blessing) in the home comes through the husband, it’s not coming through the wife AT ALL?

Leah: AT ALL!! I’ve asked so many rabbis about this. He could be sitting on the couch playing video games all day long while you take care of everything but he is still the source of any and all blessing in your life. You get huge merit for all the good you do all day long. But you can only access the blessings from your merit by receiving from your husband. He is the conduit.

Sarah: Can I share this idea with my husband? Do you think it would empower him?

Leah: Here’s the problem: Let’s say your husband brings you beautiful flowers and then when you thank him, he says that the Rabbi told him to get the flowers for you. You don’t want him to see every thanks that you give him as an attempt to get more bracha out of him instead of genuine appreciation. Or he may pressure you to receive more and better from him, as opposed to you growing at your own pace.

Esty: So a woman carries the responsibility for the amount of blessing that comes into her home ALL on her shoulders?

Leah: All the blessing comes through the man, but it is on the wife to refrain from blocking the blessing. It can only enter the home if she receives from her husband. Rather than saying it’s all on her shoulders, it’s more accurate to say that only she has the key to accessing the treasure chest that is her husband.

Gila: Does this concept apply to individuals as well, that we should all work on trying to open ourselves up to become larger vessels to receive more bracha (blessing) from Hashem (G-d)? Maybe singles would benefit from this idea in terms of finding their bashert (intended spouse).

Leah: It wouldn’t be a bad idea for singles to start training themselves to be good receivers. I like that idea!

Temima: Is this idea about accepting my husband’s generosity towards me? Like the more I accept his help, his gifts, his love… then more will come? Sometimes I feel my husband spends too much on me honestly and I wish he would be a little more frugal. (I know this might sound a little ridiculous!)

Leah: Unless your husband is thoroughly reckless when you’re in dire straits (which may call for rabbinic intervention), receive, receive, receive. Many women feel a bit queasy when their husbands spend money on them, but you receiving it with an appreciative heart will help him be more responsible, because it won’t become a control issue of what should he be spending money on. Push yourself to receive graciously and watch the bracha flow in.

Try This at Home:

One time this week, when your husband gives anything (a compliment, a gift, a favor, some help) to you, give him a wholehearted thank you.