Ever feel like therapy is an endless journey?
Join Leah with guest speaker Dr Chaya Lieba Kobernick for a behind-the-scenes understanding of how a therapy session could and should work. Listen in and learn how therapy can be so much more than a safe space with a listening ear. Ladies, it’s time to up the level of care and start healing fully.
Viewer Questions:
What’s the most frustrating thing you see behind the scenes in therapy?
Therapy can and should treat mental health issues within a reasonable timeframe but often, it doesn’t actually work.
Also, people are misled. For example, a therapist might say they treat trauma- how? Trauma is an experience, it can’t be treated.
The people doing the research are clinicians and professors who don’t necessarily have the experience so aren’t equipped to market their research in a way that reaches the people.
What’s the difference between a mental health disorder versus someone going through challenges in life?
We all go through challenges and we might need support and therapy can certainly help to give insights and skills to move through challenges; it’s a nice option, but so is reading, finding a mentor, exercising, journaling, meditating etc. A mental health disorder is an illness and needs a therapy treatment plan.
What’s the problem with therapy today and the solution?
The problem is that people are receiving therapy which isn’t necessarily evidence based so mental health issues aren’t being treated. They may get supported talking therapy, which is nice, but this isn’t treating the problem, which is a tragedy.
Some therapists are trained but might be missing skills.
Suri: I feel that my husband and I could use Couples Therapy but I feel it’s insensitive to divulge all our issues out to a stranger and pinpoint things I find difficult in our relationship- any suggestions?
The job of a therapist is to help their clients. It’s like going to a doctor to examine you but not being willing to expose parts of yourself. It’s okay to discuss issues with a therapist as long as the focus is moving forward and they’re attentive to controlling the amount that is shared. It’s healthy to vent, but a venting session won’t help.
Sara Baila: We have gone through many sessions of Couples Therapy but I feel like my husband doesn’t actually follow through with the homework. It’s like we’re paying for nothing! Am I supposed to be grateful he comes in the first place? Quit going? Go alone?
You can’t control him or make him do the homework. Let the therapist deal with him not doing his homework. You focus on you, clear up your side of the street.
What are three hallmarks of a good therapist?
The therapist is staying up to date with the latest and greatest science in their treatment area.
They, or their supervisor, has clinician experience of this problem.
They consider client preference, which is important in treatment.
Layla: How would I know if I have a mental health problem? I get down and snappy, but isn’t that just regular feminine moods?
We all get down and snappy. There’s the category of not functioning and this is a crisis and needs immediate intervention. Then there’s the middle of the road category where things are functional, but moods might be disrupting one’s life, this needs therapy. Then there’s a person who’s snappy and wants to work on it, and therapy could help but it doesn’t need therapy. Sometimes it’s a matter of working on ourselves. Personal growth involves different pieces and therapy is one way to work on ourselves but so is meditating and journalling etc.
Rivka: My husband doesn’t believe in himself and can’t accept respect or compliments from me. He doesn’t feel a need to go for therapy, how can I build him up?
Therapy would be useful, but we can’t make him go. You keep on complimenting and respecting- do what you can do. You can also try throwing humor into your compliments to help them penetrate.
What is one message you want to give everybody?
Therapy treatments can work, and therapy can end!
Try This At Home:
Clean up one small thing from ‘your side of the street!’
You can join Chaya Lieba’s Summit here: TherapyShouldWork.com
