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In this episode, Leah tackles the next section of Marriage Secrets, pgs. 18-21, which continues to explore some of her journey and the struggles she faced in making marriage her mission.

Tune in for the first 9 minutes to hear it in her own words, beginning at timecode 00:20!

Leah’s Points to Ponder:

• Choose connection, not control.
• Discover the miracle of the words: “You decide.”

Viewer Questions:

Tali: If your marriage is in a place where professional help is necessary, can you still benefit from this book?

Leah: What a great question! You should absolutely pursue professional help whenever necessary- this book is not a replacement for that! At the same time, it can be very helpful to use in conjunction with therapy. There are both methods of improving your marriage, so you should capitalize on as many methods as possible!

Tzipporah: Is there room for any equality in a marriage? Is it possible to split chores, etc. in a healthy way?

Leah: You should both be in full agreement and remember that different things work for different families. Don’t try to make it totally even- this is a lost cause and will destroy your harmony. The most important thing is that you’re getting the appreciation you need, which we’ll discuss in depth in a later chapter. Remember when making your chore plan that marriage isn’t 50/50, its 100/100.

For a beautiful story about this, tune it at 19:34!

Ora: What if constant giving leads to resentment?

Leah: Remember that you are allowed to say, “I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for me.” You also need to learn how to get the appreciation you need, which we will discuss later in the book. It could also be that your outlook on giving is skewed. Giving doesn’t deplete you; it actually has the power to fill you up. For an inspiring story proving this, tune in at 23:50!

Rachel: My marriage needs so much work and I feel so overwhelmed. How can I change my attitude to be more optimistic so I can stay motivated?

Leah: Get yourself tools. The more the better. This book is full of them and there are a ton of other resources out there. Get a learning partner and go through this book together- there are guidelines inside to help you do it in a way that won’t involve speaking gossip about your husband. You can do it!

Try This at Home:

Write a little “appreciation note” and leave it where your husband will find it.